y asked, hi lg iam a 25yr girls who is staying with my sister becoz my brotherinlaw is died last year she is having 2 child one is 10yrs other is 8 month .i like a guy who is relative of my sister we stay in same bldg, he is 30yr old in undergraduate & he has 2 failed relationship becoz of his mother dispproval. he has some financial problem also. we are friends my sister is forcing me for marriage but before taking this decision i want to clear from him whether he also like me or not. but i affaired to loosing his friedenship & the relation with my sister. is there is any why to ask a person whether he like me or not .a way where ican get my ans without hurting any one

Love Guru answers, Of course you deserve answers before marrying him. Your sister cannot plan your life for you, even if she has your best interests at heart. Explain to him that before you make a commitment you want to know why he wants to marry you and whether his reasons are genuine. Also, if he is an undergraduate and is under financial stress, do you think it's a good idea to get married? Weigh your decision carefully before going ahead with anything.

fareedmohammad asked, i wanna leave my GF.....what to do???

Love Guru answers, Tell her you're sorry, but you want to end the relationship and explain what went wrong.

alok asked, Hi Love guru, Me and my girlfriend are ready to marry but her parents are not accepting us due to intercaste barrier. Although my parents are accepting us. she is not able to make up her mind for court marriage, but i donot know how to convince her parents. Plz guide us

Love Guru answers, Go to them personally and have a talk with them. Assure them that their daughter will be well cared for and clear any doubts they may have about the union. If they still don't relent, a court marriage may be your only option.

screw asked, hi gurujee, i was a bisexual during my collage days.. now i am married and have a loving wife and a kid.. also a good job.. a few of my lovers from collage days have also settled down... we met accidently some time ago and now the old urges are coming back.. we have had a few encounters recently and like it to play both ways.. but now i am afraid of our families finding out and the whole thing getting ruined.. what shall i do??

Love Guru answers, If you're happy with your life as it is now, why compromise everything you have for a few moments of sexual pleasure? There is nothing wrong with being bisexual or gay, but commitment is commitment -- whether to a partner of the same sex or the other. This didn't affect you till you met your old pals. So be strong-minded and put an end to it. Tell them that you love your family and don't want to cheat or hurt them.

Kiran asked, Hi Dude, Happy holi... I am in love with a girl from past 4 years, We told to our parents that we want to get married, my parents finally got convinced recently, but her father is still against our marriage because of intercaste. We both are well settled and working for MNC's. So how fair it wud be going against parents wish? Or shall we wait till her parents agree? or give up for parents.(neither of us want to break this relation)

Love Guru answers, Why don't you and your parents get together and talk to her father? Get him to see things your way. If he doesn't relent now, he may eventually, but that's a chance you'll both have to take. It's either that or then ending the relationship. The choice is yours to make.

amit asked, hi i m 25year old, i have affair with aunty, she daily force me to keep physical relationship. wht to do. can i keep continue or what.

Love Guru answers, Amit, if you're in the relationship for your own reasons, it's one thing. But if you're being forced, put a stop to it right now. Don't do anything you don't want to do and if she threatens you, don't cave to her demands either.

mehak asked, Hi love guru, my husband ignores me alot, even while making love, he is trying to hide his feelings, he never talks to me , never shares his things with me.. even i m much more good looking than him, he doest allow me to do job...he puts double maning jokes with his female colleagues and never utter a word with me ...he says his parents are his world and he will die with them.. wht should i do.he says if you bear my parents abusive words that can only i will live with u

Love Guru answers, Why are you letting this man ruin your life? You're his wife, Mehak, not a slave to give in to his sexual demands and have your in-laws abuse you. Put your foot down, girl! Tell him that you have a right to your own life too, that he is most welcome to live and die with his parents by himself because as his wife, you deserve respect and nobody has the right to abuse you. Walk out if you are unhappy. If the idiot comes to his senses, he will come crawling back. If not, divorce him. He's so not worth throwing your whole life away.

d asked, myself 24 yrs old guy have fallen in love with 31 yr girl in my dept in my office,we know each other really well since last 6 months ,does the age difference really come into marriage

Love Guru answers, Look, your age-gap is not that big, it should hardly be an issue. In fact, if it was the other way around -- if you were older -- many would consider it the appropriate gap. So why not both ways? What's good for the goose is good for the gander! All the best!

Sid asked, Hi Guru..I approached a girl saying that i love her .. my aim was to get physical with her.. She fell in love with me n we had some sessions of physical intimacy (everything except Sex).. now she wants to hav sex with me..and insisting very much.. but I dont want to do it now since I feel she will get more emotionally attached to me .. which I dont want... What should i do now? I m confused

Love Guru answers, You're a liar, Sid. You told this hapless girl that you love her in order to get sexual favours. And now that you've gotten what you want -- physical fulfillment -- you don't want to go all the way. If you have any shame, you'll tell her that you don't really feel as much for her as she does for you and don't want to hurt her by going any further. And remember, what goes around, comes around -- when a woman breaks your heart the same way, one day, you'll realise how wrong it was to take advantage of someone like you have.

roopa asked, My friend and me are work in one organization but at different location and as i had not kept my commitment of providing some thing to him on his personal front which can help in his legal matter he had got angry. and since there is a silent and cold war between him and me which we know that i was not wrong nor him then to there is no talk but only some time reply of sms from him or me which to words which really priks the heart of each other.

Love Guru answers, Look, break the ice. Both of you. Meet up in person and talk it out. He shoudn't force you to do anything you don't want to do, legal or otherwise. And you shouldn't pressure him for anything either. Once you arrive at this agreement and thrash out the issue, you can go back to being friends.

kumar asked, i am in relationship since 2 yrs.. now i messed up in few things.. i lied and didnt tell her few things.. worst bout few girls i met.. and 1 of thm proposed me, while i was already in relationship.. i went out with tht girl jus normally.. i didnt do anything.. but its jus i didnt tell my gf.. now unfortunately my gf met tht girl,, nd tht girl bitched so many things.. now aapart frm tht she found few small things which wre old.. like other id's nd stuff.. now she thinks am a flirt nd lier.. nd even in between she was shattered, bcoz we wre far.. nd i didnt give her time,, so the gap widend.. now we r in diff location.. with time diff of more thn 7-8 hrs.. am tryin to prove her tht i was not tht wrong.. i admit i lied.. nd didnt tell her things,, but didnt wanted to cheat.. nd she says prove u r truthful,, nd she can rely on me.. am tryin to tell her evrything.. being truthful.. still she doesnt believe me.. i dun knw wat shld i do??

Love Guru answers, You screwed it up with your lies. So tell her everything that's the truth and beg her forgiveness. Tell her you love her too much to end this and that you'll earn back her trust over time if she only gives you a second chance. And love is all about forgiveness and second chances, isn't it? I think she'll relent -- don't mess up again!

anirudh asked, hi i am anirudh ,i am having an affair with same age of girl who is in relationship with my cousin sister,so how should i propose to her.

Love Guru answers, If you're already having an affair, what's the proposing about? You mean marriage? Only if you're both of legal age should you go ahead. Usually a diamond ring and the man going down on one knee to propose does the trick! :)

ko asked, Just cant imagine the kinda of questions ppl are asking and that guy or gal replying..this is certainly not our culture...plz stop this non-sense

Love Guru answers, Listen, I don't recollect sending you a personal invitation to participate in this chat. And if you don't like it you're welcome to leave! And let other people to decide what their own culture is all about, okay? You're nobody to decide who should do what. There are people in here who are mentally stressed and heartbroken, this chat is for them. Not you.

salman asked, My girl friend is talking with my cousin every day from last three month,iam aware of this,she only told he is like my brother. Now my girlfriend is ditched me,no talking,nocal reciving.But with my brother always talking in phone going for dating.What should i do.

Love Guru answers, Hmmm. Well, it could be that they're still friends, or it could be that she lied to you and really was attracted to him. Either way, they do owe you an explanation. So ask for one.

Sachin123 asked, Hi Love guru , is this possible to fall in love at age 29?

Love Guru answers, It's possible to fall in love at 65! Love is not age-bound.

sandy asked, I love a married woman, who loves me too. She has teo children one boy aged 9 and a girl aged 5. She is not happy with her husband and wants to come to me. But she is not able to comne to me as her parents are not allowing her to divorce her husband. I am ready to accept her and both her children. Kindly advise

Love Guru answers, Look, she's a grown woman with two kids. So the question of her parents 'allowing' her doesn't arise. She has to make her decision and stand by it. But only if you both are 100 percent sure of what you want to do should you go ahead with this.

kkt asked, hi love guru.i got engadged recently,but i know she had broken engadgement with a guy after havin 3 yrs love affair with him.so how do i find that does she have physical relationship with her boyfriend or not.she is telling d reason behind broken engadgement is that guy was very possesive.pls advice

Love Guru answers, Even if she did, so what? At the time, she thought she was going to marry him. You're engaged to her now, don't you want a physical relationship with her too? So what's different about it? And one more thing -- if you don't judge her by her past, you both will be much happier. And learn to believe what she tells you. Where there's no trust, there's no happiness.

mahen asked, Does age difference really come into marriage if you know that the girl is 8 yrs older to you but you know she is compatible,understanding,educating and caring just what you dreamt for...what could be positives and neagatives of this marriage..please advice..

Love Guru answers, Look, if the guy is old enough to settle down, it doesn't matter whether the girl is older. And frankly, an age gap of 8 years is not so big a deal. If you're compatible, you're compatible. Age only plays a role when the gap is so vast that you want different things from life and your future. Like a 25 year old who wants a career and kids settling with a 45 year old who is looking forward to retirement and already has grown up kids!

Love Guru says, Time up, folks! Catch you next week, same time, same place. Till then, email me at mailtheloveguru@rediffmail.com! Cheers!

Also see: 'I'm not comfortable with my wife's sexual demands'