People who benefit the most from such sites are too busy. Or have lost touch with tradition and would like to rediscover it. Or are people who simply live too far apart to get anything elaborate done. If this describes non-resident Indians to you, it should not be a surprise as to how many of them use Indian wedding sites.

Take the case of Sameer Patel: An Indian raised in the United States and marrying his American sweetheart. Unaware of most rituals and customs, Sameer is using sites to help his fiancée become familiar with Indian weddings. He has also ordered Gujarati wedding kits, wedding cards and giveaways for the guests in the US.

Tapping on her keyboard in Jakarta, Hema Mirpuri worked wonders. Using these sites she has managed to organise her wedding in a heritage palace in Udaipur! Besides, there is going to be an exciting two-day itinerary for her guests.

But there are many others who don't go the whole hog and pick only what they really want from the Internet. Ranjita Sehegal's love is Arpito. Stumped by her Bengali fiancé's rituals and customs, she used the sites to gather all the cultural information that she needed. Then she surfed around for ideas on trousseau and giveaways and a wedding checklist. Ranjita also consulted Wedding Sutra's expert panel of beautician Blossom Kocchar and fashion designer Krishna Mehta for help with skin care and trousseau. "Though the best part," says this marketing professional, "was putting up my interactive invitation and Web page. It made inviting all my friends so easy!"

Yet, the essence of the Internet was brought out by the way General Saigal organised younger daughter Tanushree's wedding. He Webcast the festivities live so that Tanushree's sister in the US was not left out. The families chatted online along with the video feed and the sisters were together despite being so far apart!

While this proves that snazzy technology can actually get some work done, it is the simpler things on the wedding sites that have the most takers. Like counseling. Madhulika Mathur of Wedding Sutra has her role well defined: "My job is to inform and educate them keeping the right balance of etiquette, customs and traditions in mind. At the same time, I tell them to have fun and often do their own thing, since you hope to get married just once in a lifetime."

A girl from Delhi writes in: "I am getting married into a Catholic family. So I will be wearing a gown for the wedding. But my mother is forcing me to wear a ghagra choli for the reception. My in-laws might feel bad and how will I dance with my spouse at the reception. What do you think I should do?"

Then there are more complex dilemmas that need to be sorted: "My daughter eloped and married her boyfriend in June. Both the families have accepted their relationship. Since she is already married, we want to know if there are any guidelines for this situation. Do you have suggestions for the invitation wording?"

Though wedding sites can be a boon for the really busy, they may not be for those who love the chaos of an Indian wedding. Riri Trivedi of Shaadionline concedes, "Since everything is online you might feel more detached about minutiae like choosing your bangles or even seeing your wedding cards in real."

Here are three wedding that used the Internet in the best possible way…

Nethra Raghuraman and Ash Chandler
Busy, yet longing for a grand event

Standup comedian Ash sprung a surprise proposal at Nethra on Mumbai's Marine Drive. Now all that they wanted was the most perfect Tamil-Iyer wedding.

Ash wanted the wedding in Chennai but it eventually happened in Bangalore because the planners Meeru Pai and Nalini Tahilramani found him a faultless venue at Tamarind Tree.

Nethra and Ash didn't have to lift a finger. They simply logged in everyday and marked attendance for their own wedding!

Six weeks was all that organisers had! They used the site to fix trousseaux, gift registry, décor, the mehndiwalli, music and even a live Webcast.

Meeru claims, "Everything happened courtesy email and instant messengers. Even Nethra's lehenga measurements; Ash's mother, Paddy's clothes… all of them were discussed online." Since Nethra and Ash didn't have addresses of their guests, the site's Bombay team called 100 numbers and mailed wedding cards besides confirming RSVPs online.

"We don't mind getting married again!" says the couple. Unlike most harassed brides and grooms, they enjoyed every minute of their wedding. "Little things like beetle leaves were arranged, Ash got to ride a horse one night and an elephant on another and was thrilled with his zoological treats! I don't think we could have done this on our own. It's been my dream wedding!" gushes Nethra.

All through the preparations, Paddy, an NRI, was in the US. But she claims it felt like being there in person to organise her son's wedding. "We couldn't have done it better or cheaper. In fact, I told all my friends in the US that there is no need to worry about the weddings of their children anymore!"

Meeru claims: "We became a part of their family. We had a traditional lunch on banana leaves, a very elegant reception and an evening mass. We had people there to tie turbans to all the guests! What made all the crazy six weeks worthwhile was when Nethra jumped up from the mandap and thanked us for every minute of the wedding!"

Reena Wadhwani and Vinay Agarwal
Shopping for ideas online. And keeping in touch

The bride's in Delhi. The groom's in Bangalore. Her family's in Jabalpur. And the wedding? It was to be in Hyderabad!

Reena was aware of the situation's impossibility: "What made matters worse was that we were both working and had just a month to organise the wedding in an unknown city!"

Instead of running across three cities, she simply went online.

Online registry, guest lists and ideas for invitations, giveaways and cards, she picked them all on the Internet. "Vinay and I fell in love in a chat room. We are Net buffs. I looked for everything online, when I didn't find it, I would use other means. We would spend hours putting together our gift registry and redoing it. I spent a lot of time on it and it helped me in getting the perfect gifts... We felt involved as we were constantly emailing each other information on rituals which I found on a Web site or discussing changes on the gift registry!"

Reena however confesses that she used the sites to mostly bounce off ideas rather than use their services. She explains: "Most sites don't have budgets to suit lower end pockets. I didn't find wedding cards and invites in my budget. I also couldn't find a trousseau within the range I was looking for as a lot of the stuff was premium and exclusive."

But she is thrilled with the jeweller she found online. "My chudis are from Baburam. I found him through the site and those bangles are worth every penny I paid. Especially, because Baburam inscribed our names on the bangles!"



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