Blue shirt, khaki trousers, and newspaper in hand, Amit Chopra fights for room in a crowded Mumbai local. With him is another man, holding his hand. In a country that refuses to acknowledge the presence of gays and lesbians, this quest for space is as literal as it is metaphorical.
Coming out of the closet is an act that goes beyond the merely political, especially in India, where relationships rarely move beyond crowded trains and late night meetings in public parks. Which is why the Internet has come in like a breath of fresh air, more here than for the rest of the world. A recent statement released by an Internet research and consulting firm says that gay and lesbian surfers worldwide will rise from a current 13.5 million to 22.4 million within the next five years.
On the surface of it all, life online is pretty much the same for homosexuals as it is for the rest. What makes a huge difference is the way it is used, by the marginalised, as a communication tool to overcome isolation, as well as to help members of their community.
Priyanka, bi-sexual, says, "The Internet has probably made it easier for us to meet, because in the time it takes you to drive somewhere, you could meet someone online. I didn't need it for any emotional support myself, but for people who do, I think it helps a lot."
Apart from being a platform for cross-cultural interaction, the Internet in India is also an outlet of sorts for gays and lesbians usually denied venues for face-to-face interaction. A social compulsion to live in the closet makes the web a vital link for the community. They use it to meet like-minded individuals, air their views, sort out problems, or simply indulge in their own brand of social banter.
The anonymity that comes with surfing is another obvious plus point, though its downside is that one is never too sure about who the person at the other end of a line really is.
Says gay activist Ashok Row Kavi, "There are plus points and minus points to the Internet in India. If you log on to a site like Gay Bombay, you're suddenly confronted with a thousand people who think like you and face the same identity crises you do. There has been a huge expansion in this sense, and the gay identity is a lot clearer thanks to the Internet. The downside is crime. Young kids are being lured using chat rooms, and these kids can be found online across Mumbai. You never know who you're chatting with, and chances are it can be a kid or someone trying to victimise naïve homosexuals."
Leaving aside the disadvantages though, it's easy to see why the Net still has its potential. From a psychological viewpoint, homosexuals easily adapt to cyberspace because a closer look at their lives reveals a virtual community that has always existed in every town and city. In India, for example, they have their own codes, cues, and venues which, like the Web, are hidden from public view. The switch from one virtual world to another, then, is rarely a problem.
Moving on to actual sites and places, an interesting fact is that gay and lesbian communities are as marginalised online as they are offline. What you get are smaller communities that interact with each other, though the number of resources for GLBT's (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender), are still huge.
There are portals like PlanetOut with over 850,000 members and Gay.com , with newer sites constantly emerging. PlanetOut has got all avenues covered. Apart from the latest gay-related issues around the world, it has sections on entertainment, dating, a huge database of personals and special features that make it a lot more interesting than just a popular chat room.
In India, there's the Humsafar Trust, an open gay organisation that helps self-identified gay men come to terms with their sexuality. It also deals with male sexual health, and counsels Indian homosexuals on problems relating to sexuality.
You can also find over 100 specialised gay-and-lesbian e-mail lists, loads of local groups, Egroups like KhushIndia and even a gay and lesbian search engine called GayCrawler, that gives you topics arranged by category. Using Usenet? Search for newsgroups with the term 'MOTSS' (members of the same sex) in the title. There are also GLBT Weblogs and Journals , message boards and more.
So, the final question: Does it really make a big difference? An entire issue of Bombay Dost (India's premier magazine for gays) devoted to the 'Cyber Gay,' explores all possibilities of cyberspace and what it does for the community in India and abroad.
Most agree that it helps, though some still beg to differ. S Ranjith, gay, single, and living in Mumbai, calls it, "A fad, nothing more." He says, "I did try chat rooms initially, because they helped me meet new people. I had just come out of a relationship, and thought the Internet would help me get over it while helping me find a new friend. At the end of the day though, it didn't satisfy me. I would meet people online who wouldn't turn up later. There was no emotional or physical support."
Adds Ashok Row Kavi, "The anonymity factor helps, because we do get people coming in for online counselling now. However, for homosexuals always in chat rooms, it's ridiculous to escape to virtual reality just because the real world is difficult for them to handle."
Ranjith has another valid point to make about people dependant on chat rooms. "Logging on to a chat room does say something about how interesting you are in real life, because if you were that interesting, you wouldn't be online; you'd probably be surrounded by friends. Gay men and women log on to chat sites with a number of illusions. They have to realise that the guy they're chatting with is just ordinary, not Brad Pitt."
That may be true. But it's still the start of something that could, some day, help bring the closeted out into the open. Just like the rest. Just like it was meant to be.
Links
Gay.com
Simply one of the largest, with all the information on gay issues you ever wanted but didn't know where to find. Good news is an India chat room on the Men's International floor.
Bisexual Web Site
Site for the bisexual community. Has news, news groups, city guides, mailing lists, health and welfare sections, and more.
AltIndia
Information on issues including gender, alternate sexualities, and the law. Also has interesting reports, documentation, and additional links.
Aegis Web site
Updated hourly, this is a site resource for academics and casual surfers looking for information on HIV/AIDS issues, health, or statistics. Also has its own search engine and a special section for those newly infected with HIV.
Indian Gay Club
Personals, an agony column, gay and legal issues, support groups, news and more.
India Gay Resource
Indian Gay community established in 1998. Has information by city, about local resources, organisations, support groups, as well as gay friendly meeting places.
Lavender Links: India
Links for gay Indians, from sites to egroups, people and homepages.
HateCrime
An exhaustive resource of crimes perpetrated on members of gay and lesbian communities around the world. Also has statistics, links and detailed reports.
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