Merry mockery in Bollywood
This is director Suparn Verma's fun column.
Warning! This column reflects the views of the writer and the writer only! He may or may not have been in his senses, so don't let that colour your judgement.
The writer shall endeavour to refrain from profanity and try REALLY hard not to be politically incorrect. But managing both at the same time may be a tough task for him. Hence, viewer discretion is advised. But if you wanna have fun... then what the hell! Keep reading.
I first thought of starting this column stating We Indians have absolutely no sense of humour!
But since a lot of you are sitting anonymously behind a screen with a keyboard (hehehe!) at your fingertips, lemme ask you this -- Do we have a sense of humour?
I ask you this because we have, time and again, demonstrated we can laugh at others but have zero capacity to laugh at ourselves!
The funny Khans -- Shah Rukh and Saif -- did it three years in a row before they were forced to tame down because of the backlash!
I mean, how lame is that! They were making fun of everyone and, honestly, in a show which is all about ratings and sponsors, it was a very funny act by two huge stars whose gag act took off on the whole industry.
But then, we are self righteous when it comes to laughing at ourselves! Laugh at the white man, laugh at the politician or the policeman, but don't laugh at your own kind. The fact, however, is that, with the kind of lives we lead and the movies we make, we are ideal fodder for humour. And methinks the humour can be funny, mean, nasty, tasteless... it doesn't really matter as long as it is done in the interest of humour.
Sajid Khan has based his whole career on lampooning the industry, but the minute he became a director, he was asked to become tasteful! I mean, you can love him or hate him, but to ask him to rein in his style is like telling Mallika Sherawat to appear on screen in a burkha (which she does at airports and no one recognises her... almost)!
Karan Johar's show keeps reinventing itself and makes for a fun watch. With each generation of actors, he keeps getting more and more candid answers. The Ranbir Kapoor and Imran Khan episode was a hoot, so was the Deepika-Sonam one.
It is the channel's job to pump up controversy in the race for TRPs and, in today's day and age, that is what showbiz is all about. Eyeballs, numbers, statistics and bottom lines.
Like the character Jon Doe (Kevin Spacey) said in Fincher's Se7en 'Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention.'
Yet, it is considered wrong if two young girls decide to have fun at the expense of another colleague with whom they have been involved personally and professionally. How does it matter? Ranbir Kapoor would have only gained a few thousand fans after that episode; he has moved beyond trivialities in the perception game.
Even if you put all that aside, the two glamorous gals were fresh when it came to content and attitude and, honestly speaking, there's a huge audience out there that's you, the anonymous guys with keyboards) including me who would love to see such fun stuff. It makes for great TV, and TRPs.
So, today, to spice up your week, I shall start off with a round of fun -- here are Shah Rukh and Saif making merry mockery.
The first time the two stars got together, they created a format that has lasted to date at every awards show they host. Here's hoping for many more such hours of fun.
Image: Shah Rukh Khan and Saif Ali Khan at the Filmfare awards
A celeb gag that backfired!
This famous spat followed after Sajid and his sister, director-choreographer Farah Khan, in their irreverent way, poked fun at everyone.
There were laughs galore, till Ashutosh Gowariker -- who was severely disappointed with Rock On! for upsetting his Jodhaa-Akbar awards cart -- went on a rampage onstage.
Of course, the whole tamasha provided more drama and more TRPs!
Image: Sajid-Farah take on Ashutosh Gowarikar
'Sinatra got my record player pregnant'
In the Golden Age of Hollywood, celebrity roasts would take place in the halls of Caesar's Palace and other such glitzy casinos on the Las Vegas strip.
It was a time when Ol' Blue Eyes -- Mr Frank Sinatra -- ruled the stage. A time when Dean Martin would roast Frankie. And the line-up of fellow roasters will make you drool or stand up and salute.
Dean Martin has his drunken guy stage act down to a pat. It was a routine he would do even with Jerry Lewis, with what looked like Martin sipping copious amounts of whiskey. Mostly, it was just apple juice, but sometimes it actually was whiskey! So which was which, and when? Go figure!
Image: Dean Martin roasts Frank Sinatra
On stage with Don Rickles
This one is venomous as Don Rickles takes on the legendary entertainer Bob Hope and spares NO ONE on stage, including Ronald Reagan!
Image: Don Rickles takes on Bob Hope
The brilliant Bette Davis
If you like the psychotically brilliant Bette Davis, you will love this. After all, she has 10 Oscar nominations under her belt and incredible films like All About Eve and What Ever Happened To Baby Jane? With a panel that includes Henry Fonda, this is old school at its best!
After all, she has 10 Oscar nominations under her belt and incredible films like All About Eve and What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?
With a panel that includes Henry Fonda, this is old school at its best!
Image: The brilliant Bette Davis
Princess Leia takes on George Lucas
Gather around all you Star Wars fans, here's Princess Leia aka Carrie Fisher (or is it the other way around?) at an award event for George Lucas.
She does a light-hearted roast of the wizard whose coiffure looks the same since... well, since he had that coiffure!
Image: Princess Leia takes on George Lucas
No holds barred: The Kirk-Spock war
And now we get into the modern age roasts, where no holds are barred. They are full of sex and curses... yes... the F word and the P word and the D word and every other word you can imagine... so watch at your own risk please!
I start as a Star Trek fanboy with the William Shatner (Captain Kirk) roast, starring Shatner himself and Leonard Nimoy (Mr Spock).
This one is a treasure!
Image: No holds barred: The Kirk-Spock war
Star Trek again: Sulu is gay and happy
Ever wonder how Hikaru Sulu, played by George Takei, got along with William Shatner on the sets of the Star Trek series?
After 40 years, we finally have the true story, as the happy and gay Takei spares no one, including Farah Fawcett!
Image: Star Trek again: Sulu is gay and happy
Hasselhoff under the spotlight
I promised you sex, and trust me you will get it. Just wait a little bit, am building to it.
But first, for the anonymous ladies with the keyboards in the house, here is David Hasselhoff being roasted by George Hamilton. Enjoy!
Image: Hasselhoff under the spotlight
Pamela Anderson, roasted!
Okay here it comes... just two words... PAMELA ANDERSON!
Expect the worst, and then some more, but you gotta give it to the silicone lady -- the smile never leaves her face!
Image: Pamela Anderson, roasted!
Joan Collins, the old-fashioned way
I know that is no way to treat a lady, so let us do it the old-fashioned way.
In the old days, you had Joan Collins and this is how they did it!
Image: Joan Collins, the old-fashioned way
The best and worst insults
In the end... and since 2010 will end in a couple of days, let me leave you with a compilation of the best and worst insults.
So laugh, get revolted, have fun, smile... you are gonna die anyway!
On that pleasant note, let me wish you A Very Happy 2011. Keep laughing!
Image: The best and worst insults