Meet the desi Expendables!
Big became bang after Hollywood superstar Sylvester Stallone was hit with the brainwave of bringing together some of the best known names in action for The Expendables.
So he roped in himself along with his most distinguished colleagues and poster boys of the bam-wham era of the 1980s to mid 1990s along with a sprinkle of the current batch to assemble a film punctuated in adrenalin and bullets. The mathematics behind it is simple: tons of ammunition plus zero plausibility equals to fun, fun, fun.
And man, did fans of the armed beefcake-spitting-cheesy one-liners phase appreciate it or what?
The franchise is now even bigger brimming with the previous cast Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Jason Statham and its starry additions like Jean-Claude Van Damme, Liam Hemsworth and Chuck Norris.
Now here's a wild suggestion. How about crafting our own desi Expendables team? Bollywood has no shortage of action heroes and cheesy is our middle name. So I took the liberty of compiling a super duper ambitious star cast that could give Sly's army a run for its money.
Here's my pick of 10 action stars, old favourites with a dash of fresh blood, in what I'm calling Project Joshilay. (No Anil Sharma, you cannot direct.)
Go ahead, dear readers, contribute to the merriment.
The angry young man now claiming Bbuddah Hoga Tera Baap hasn't lost an ounce of his intensity, vigor or rage. Bring it on, Big B.
Image: Amitabh Bachchan
And what's the point of a list if Bollywood's beloved He-Man isn't presiding over the proceedings? Project Joshilay could always do with his violent motto: Kutte Kameene, Main Tera Khoon Pee Jaaonga.
So they got Chuck Norris, huh? But Rajinikanth can shoot bullets without a gun. And THAT Chuckie boy is no joke.
Jab yeh dhaai kilo ka haath kissi pe padta hai na', you know the rest.
Be it 10, 100 or 1000, Sunny Deol can single-handedly demolish the enemy and his country with blows and punches alone.
Image: Sunny Deol
We need someone to raise the cocky, cool, macho quotient in the Joshilay enterprise. And Baba is the last word on deadly.
Image: Sanjay Dutt
And to ensure Project Joshilay breaks all previous box office records, Bhai Khan is requested to grace this action-packed treat with his can-do (anything) dynamism and strapping torso, shirt or no shirt.
Image: Salman Khan
It's blasphemous to not include muscle man Suniel Shetty with a repertoire of Balwan, Rakshak, Vinakshak, Shastra, Anth and Takkar as a significant member of the burly, dishoom-dishoom brigade.
Image: Suniel Shetty
By virtue of his excellent martial art skills and fit physique, Akshay Kumar can more than redeem himself for assaulting us with a series of unfunny comedies. There, we'll even call his character Khiladi Joe.
Image: Akshay Kumar