6'It is practical to co-exist under one roof in such a setup, but only if both partners can maintain respect, avoid conflict, and genuinely focus on the kids without bitterness,' observes rediffGURU Kanchan Rai, founder, Let Us Talk Foundation.
Going through a divorce is never going to be easy.
Irrespective of how many years you've been together, when there are kids involved, the thought of separation, heartbreak and loss can be emotionally exhausting.
And when the decision is not mutual, the decision itself can create a lot of confusion and guilt.
rediffGURU Kanchan Rai, a mind coach and founder of Let Us Talk Foundation, urges couples to be patient and empathetic while seeking professional counselling to communicate and manage their emotions better.
Anonymous: My wife wants an 'emotional divorce', but she wants us to stay married for the sake of our kids. They are 11 and 8.
After 12 years of marriage, my wife said she's emotionally done but wants to live together until our kids are older. She thinks it is best for them.
I feel trapped in a loveless marriage, and I don't know how long I can keep pretending.
Is this even practical, if we are living in the same house?
It's important to remember that children don't just notice what we say; they absorb how we live.
If they grow up seeing constant coldness, distance, or hidden resentment between their parents, it can affect them as much, if not more, than a separation would.
What children need the most is not a perfect family image but an environment of honesty, respect, and emotional safety.
Sometimes, staying together without love creates more harm than good, because the kids sense the lack of warmth and start internalising it as normal.
That said, jumping to divorce may not be the only choice either. You both need to explore whether this 'emotional divorce' is truly final for her, or whether it's her way of expressing exhaustion, disappointment, or unmet needs.
Sometimes people use the language of being 'done' because they don't know how to repair or rebuild. Couples therapy could help you both explore whether there is any room left for healing, or whether this is truly the end.
From your side, you have to be very honest with yourself: Can you realistically live in the same house for years, knowing love is gone, without it crushing your sense of self-worth and joy?
If the answer is NO, then you need to have a serious and compassionate conversation with your wife about finding an arrangement that prioritises the kids' well-being but also acknowledges your humanity.
So to your question -- yes, it is practical to co-exist under one roof in such a setup, but only if both partners can maintain respect, avoid conflict, and genuinely focus on the kids without bitterness. The bigger question is whether it is healthy for you and for them. That depends on how you both handle it.
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