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LOVE gyaan from Indian Matchmaking's Aparna

November 04, 2020 10:50 IST

Remember Aparna Shewakramani from Netflix's binge watched reality show, Indian Matchmaking?

She is the bold, unapologetic woman who is unafraid to speak her mind.

In Simi Aunty's (the Mumbai matchmaker who starred on the show) opinion, she was picky and demanding.

However, for millions of single women out there, Aparna is a woman they can totally relate to -- someone who deserves to have a partner she wants.

A lawyer, Aparna shares her views on love, marriage and finding a groom with Anita Aikara/

IMAGE: Post Indian Matchmaking, Aparna became an overnight ambassador for women demanding to have their voices heard -- in relationships, at their workplaces and their homes as well. Photograph: Kind courtesy Aparna Shewakramani/Instagram

"There are a lot of regressive ideas about a woman's role in the arranged marriage process, especially after she turns 30," says Aparna, who feels that women should not be apologetic for having high standards.

"I don't think there is a milestone age by which women need to be married by, or our options become so slim that we just succumb to whatever partner comes our way.

"For all the women out there who do feel that way, I just think that we should keep more of an open mind about the process in general."

Aparna feels that Bollywood has falsely portrayed many notions about love.

To start off with, "Bollywood makes one feel that they will find love only when they are not looking for it."

According to her, there is a more practical way to go about it. "They (your partner) can be found through a matchmaker, a friend or even at a party you go to," she laughs.

"Love doesn't have to come out of nowhere on a train or in Switzerland on a mountain."

"One doesn't need to be a certain personality type or have a certain whimsical nature to find love. I think there is enough opportunity for all of us."

Quizzed about the qualities she seeks in her partner, this is what she had to say.

"There is a reason you call someone a partner and not date. It is because you're in this together; you are a team.

"That is very important if you are thinking about who you want your future partner to be.

"For me, I'd love my future partner to be more laid-back, introverted and very, very intelligent -- in a way that they are learning about the world and sharing that with me."

IMAGE: Aparna in Indian Matchmaking.

Aparna had some relationship advice to share as well.

"I do believe that communication is at the heart of every successful relationship.

"Even when you're fighting or are sad, you need to remember that you're in the same team.

"You are not fighting each other, you are not arguing with each other but trying to find a solution from the same side."

Her trick for handling trolls is simple: Don't take the comments and posts personally.

"I have been trolled, but I don't think too much about it. From the outside I think if someone behind a keyboard across the world has something negative to say, it has nothing to do with me."

"I don't mind if I'm being rejected by a guy who doesn't want to date me. If I like myself, that is all that matters."

"If I am working to be a good daughter, sister, friend, employee and if I am constantly evolving and growing, then that's the most important to me."

She feels that Indian obsession with fair skin is definitely part of our colonial past.

"It has been part of our history." But it's time for change. "I'd like to see the changes when we accept all skin colours as beautiful.

"We should be embracing every tone, every hue, every hyperpigmentation and discoloration.

"It is a part of our skin and it is a beautiful thing no matter our colour."

Watch the entire interview with Aparna Shewakramani here: