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 Prashant Pimpalekar

 

Oh, people!

People, I have found from long association, are unique. Like thumb prints.

Now this may sound contradictory: despite this uniqueness, there is usually a common thread running through people, making the task of generalizing easier -- and generalization is what this is all about.

My job as a consultant recently introduced me to a tribe that I shall call, hmm, Cyber-Passive. It comprises men of few words -- at least, electronically.

They write the shortest of emails, which, more often than not, are like presidential briefings, so ruddy terse and condescending. Send them the season's greetings and you will get 'We reciprocate' -- as if Yahoo/Hotmail charges them per word!

But these same people, in real life, would be talking machines! Be it on the bus or the park or while crossing the road, they debate on anything, completely oblivious to the fact they are about to be run down.

Then there is another tribe. They are what I call the Yaar-ek-baar-milte-hain kind of people. They strike a chord with you in half a tick, then say something innocuous like "Yaar, ek baar milte hai."

You, the gullible, immediately offer a warm invitation for dinner.

So the next Saturday they land up at your house. They have a gala time, talking, dancing, and, of course, eating. Then they say goodbye and walk out, conveniently forgetting to return your invitation. And that is the last you see of them.

A subset of the above is the ones who target newbies from India. They are usually on the prowl at Indian restaurants, malls, temples etc. They move in the moment they spot a confused-looking Indian, their eyes agleam, their faces friendly.

"Hi," they say. "So when did you come from India?"

You are taken in with the friendly face in a strange land, talking to you about the American dream. And you, poor you, you start dreaming of becoming Sabeer Bhatia, 'Desh' Deshpande and Vinod Dham all rolled into one...

And guess what? The very next weekend you find yourself slogging your back off in an Amway workshop!

Then, how can one exclude the ubiquitous tribe of those wonderful people who are in love with their cameras? These guys think every picture they take is a masterpiece. Your visit to their house will not conclude without leafing through at least three thick albums, not just of family members but of all the picnics they have undertaken in the last 20 years.

Now don't tell me you have never come across those doting parents, who just go on and on about their wonderful kid/s!

Didn't I tell you, I just love people!

Illustration: Uttam Ghosh

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