Preeti Arora reviews Haunted. Post YOUR reviews here!"I do not use drugs, aur mein stupid bhi nahi hu. Meine MBA kiya hai, Stanford University, America se", says Mimoh or Mahaaskshay Chakraborty some 20 minutes into Vikram Bhatt's latest venture, the jadedly titled Haunted. India's first stereoscopic 3D film or rather horror film won't shock you but may leave you numb with boredom.
And here's the thing about good horror films: they're either brilliantly bloodcurdling, or conveniently comic. Either way, it's entertaining. But Haunted adds a third dimension to this classification. It's annoying. There's no subtle way of saying this, really, so here it is: nothing in this film works. Not the story, not the acting, not the music and certainly not the 3D. Haunted is a total downer, and the title of "India's first stereoscopic 3D film" certainly deserved a much better movie to go along with it.
The narrative of Haunted borrows generously from clichés so conspicuous as to assume the function of self-parody. A rich boy, fresh from acquiring his aforementioned MBA, visits a colonial mansion in a small town under some lousy pretext. He moves into the house, the lights go dark and from out of absolutely nowhere, ghosts materialize and the antics begin.
Cut to when brave little boy goes around town seeking to unravel the raaz behind the spookiness of Glenn Manor. Cut to the boy discovering the story of Meera; handwritten by Meera herself and tucked away in a book which lazily falls open at the hero's feet. Cut to when rich boy gets transported 80 years back in time to save Meera from being raped by the 'evil spirit' of her piano teacher. As the evil spirit himself puts it "Jo mein zinda reh kar nahi kar saka woh marne ke baad zaroor karunga". Kinky, isn't it?
Nothing's original here. Nothing's special. It's a classic plot. And perversely so, but the rape angle was admittedly smart. There is a fine line separating 'classic' from 'cheesy' and 'done-to-death',
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