Manisha Koirala: 'When I Returned From Cancer Treatment, He Called Me Home'

'...and there was a big party. The way he hugged me, I understood that deep friendship. And he understood the pain that I had gone through during my cancer.'

As Khamoshi: The Musical clocks 30 years in August, Manisha Koirala looks back on her unforgettable journey with the well-reviewed film.

The film marked Sanjay Leela Bhansali's directorial debut and also starred Salman Khan, Helen, Nana Patekar and Seema Biswas.

"It was definitely tough to get into the dark world of the deaf and mute character," Manisha tells Subhash K Jha. "It's painful to see their struggle. But there was a beauty in that whole setup. There was a beauty in the pain. There was a beauty in the struggle."

Where do you place Khamoshi in your repertoire of films?

Khamoshi is my all-time favourite film, and Sanjay Leela Bhansali is my favourite director. I worked wonderfully with Sanjay; it was proven in Khamoshi and recently, in Heeramandi.

'I am so glad Sanjay can't imagine Khamoshi without me'

Did you know that other prominent actresses were considered for Khamoshi, including Madhuri Dixit and Kajol?

I remember Sanjay had given me the script and asked for feedback. He had honestly and bluntly told me that he had other actresses in mind. When I read the script, I loved it so much because it moved me. Everything was perfect in the script.

I said, 'Sanjay, if other people don't do it, please consider me in. Because I love, love, love the script and I love Annie's character.'

And you went on to play Annie.

It worked out well. I am so proud of that film. I love the songs. I love everybody's performances. I love the way Sanjay made me perform. He gave me freedom to perform.

I am so glad Sanjay can't imagine Khamoshi without me.

'There was a beauty in the pain'

What was it like shooting for the film in Goa?

Fabulous! I love Goa. I love the free-spiritedness of that place, the laid-backness of the place. I love the people. I love the sea and the beaches.

But, you know, while shooting for Khamoshi, everybody was so focused about the film, whether it was Salman Khan or Nana Patekar or Helenji or Seemaji (Biswas).

Was it tough getting into the dark world of your character, who has deaf and mute parents?

Definitely! It's painful to see their struggle but there was a beauty in that whole setup. There was a beauty in the pain.

Whenever I take on something, I try and understand the character and do my best within the framework that the director has given me.

So, Annie's pain and confusion when she falls in love. When her parents are trying to curb her, but she wants to soar high. And that confusion. You know, she's devoted towards her parents.

At the same time, she loves the guy, Salman Khan. And she loves to sing. So, there was a delicate balance, and how to navigate that. So it was tough, but beautiful.

'After Khamoshi, we went our separate ways'

You knew Sanjay Bhansali long before Khamoshi?

Yes. He was assisting Vidhu Vinod Chopra during 1942: A Love Story and we became good friends.

I had seen the spark in him, the passion in him. We had created a rapport, and then we made Khamoshi.

After Khamoshi, we went our separate ways.

Why?

For reasons best known to Sanjay. But we worked together again in Heeramandi.

The fact remains that the fondness, the comfort zone, the trust, and the respect is there between us.

I see that in his eyes, and I will always treasure our friendship all my life.

Whether we work or don't, this is beyond work.

There are certain bonds which get created while working. I feel really blessed to have that space in Sanjay's life, and I know it will be there forever.

When I returned from cancer treatment, he was the one who called me home and there was a big party. The way he hugged me, I understood that deep friendship. And he understood the pain that I had gone through during my cancer.

I realised our friendship would last forever. It brings tears to talk about it right now.

'Annie definitely touched my core'

Was it tough for you to understand the silent world of Annie in Khamoshi?

I guess each time an actor plays a different role, it adds value and you get pulled into a new world. You try to understand the new dynamics, the unconscious and the conscious and the relationship.

Khamoshi was a new area for me. It touches upon areas I had never experienced. I wouldn't have ever had a glimpse of being a child of deaf and mute parents had it not been for Khamoshi.

Deep within me, it resonated with my own experiences. Maybe not the same but somewhere, it's a similar kind of feeling.

Our circumstances may be different, our characters may be different but at the core, we are the same. So Annie definitely touched my core.

'I'm grateful that I have this experience of life'

It's your birthday on August 16.

It's my 55th year, and it's been wonderful. I'm so grateful for this life.

This profession has given me so much love, blessing and recognition. I'm deeply grateful.

Photographs curated by Manisha Kotian/Rediff