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Yawn

Sharmila Taliculam

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One side you see the Kapoor sisters, Karisma and Kareena, and on the other you have Priyadarshan and Nagma hobnobbing at a table. But when you look around, you found there aren't many other stars present at the show. Or, for that matter, even people in the audience. The event was the Sansui Viewers' Choice Movie Awards night, organised by Pritish Nandy Communications and the only stars of note other than those we've mentioned were Shah Rukh Khan, Anil Kapoor and Jackie Shroff.

There was no Madhuri, not even Kajol, who got the best villain award for Gupt. The event was managed by Anupam Kher and hosted by Zeenat Aman, Ashish Vidyarthi and Mita Vashist.

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It was Zeenat's first public appearance after 13 years but she came onstage very few times. It was left to Vashist, who kept a constant and monotonous monologue going, to host the event. All in all, it must have been the dullest evening in years.

The evening started two hours late, and a roar ran around every time a star walked in. The security was cagey, and wouldn't allow any electronic item into the stadium other than hearing aids -- and these did not include mobile phones. Lesser mortals were frisked thoroughly before they were allowed in.

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You can settle almost anywhere and you'll be told they have been reserved for the policemen and the security guards who want to watch the show.

The show started with a rendition of Vande Mataram with six children, who happened to be deaf and dumb, dancing to the anthem.

They also got a child who saved the lives of his friends in an accident to present an award. But we might have been spared a speech from Smita Thackeray in this regard, which also highlighted the yeoman service rendered by her own organisation, Mukti.

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Unfortunately, the awards presented went to films that had already been acknowledged and awarded many times before. There was Border, Viraasat, Mrityudand, Dil To Pagal Hai, Gupt and -- can you believe it -- Himalayputra and Judaai. Border bagged five awards while Mrityudand bagged the critics award for the best film.

Shah Rukh and Madhuri walked off with the best actor and actress awards respectively.

Akshaye Khanna was adjudged the best debutante for Himalayputra, despite competition from Aishwarya Rai and Mahima Choudhary. But when he was asked if he could say a few words after he picked up the award, you wished he had refused.

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The Lifetime achievement awards -- the only one decided by the jury -- went to Dilip Kumar and B R Chopra. B R Chopra wasn't present so Ravi Chopra accepted the award on his father's behalf.

Surprisingly, Amrish Puri came onto the stage twice, to dance to the songs from Pardes and China Gate. That's a rare thing to see.

Johnny Lever enlivened things a bit, keeping everybody in splits with his jokes about politics. Shaimak Davar danced and sang with his troupe and generally looked very pleased.

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After all, he had got an award for the best choreographer, hadn't he, for his work in DTPH?

He even got Shah Rukh Khan on the stage to dance with him. It was Shah Rukh and his wife Gauri who had recommended Davar to Yash Chopra.

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China Gate, Rajkumar Santoshi's magnum opus, based on Akira Kurosawa's Seven Samurai got the maximum mileage in a special showing of new upcoming films.

Among the others were Feroz Khan's Prem Aggan, Priyadarshan's Doli Saja ke Rakhna and Tips' Soldier. Actors, music directors, directors and anybody else remotely connected to the films were hauled onstage to promote their films.

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Thereafter, one had the usual song and dance routine, with the group Silk Route presenting their songs from the album Boondein, and Shaimak Davar from his Survival.

The finale was Akshay Kumar dancing to his Aflatoon number. The thing opened with a bang -- quite a few since there were crackers and fire all over. It was pointed out that even Madonna was impressed when he performed the same thing in the US. Maybe Madonna's got lower standards or maybe he lacked the same zeal here. Akki was just going through the motions here.

To put it very, very kindly, the show was a complete washout.