|« Back to article||Print this article|
We live in times of low attention spans, where all joys of the stomach and flesh are available at the drop of a hat (or via mobile now?)! Is it just sex or is there some lingering fragrance to romance in our times, asks Nisha JamVwal.
Instant coffee, instant sex
We might have misunderstood the urgency to get into the whambam-thank-you ma'am mode for love, romance and poetry. All we want is to cut to the chase and get it over and done with. The immense pressure to make it all physical without the amorous courtship is very 'now'. The magic of being, those lingering moments of discovery and togetherness, the brush of the hand that sends a flame down the chest is nearly extinct. Is the lingering, sensuous fragrance of romance edging toward the dinosaur age?
Is sex an expression of love?
You don't just fritter away love as a man-woman thing. Sex is as intense an expression of love and as selective and exclusive as that rare feeling for one single person you are involved with. When such a state of affairs exists, it is natural to think of it on a basis of 'happily ever after', as matrimony, with all its appeal of a home, children and a shared life where you are the reason d'etre for your partner.
Yes, there are bad times and burdens, but show me a being with a companion and I'll show you the effect of the companion on stress and drudgery. However, here's where I say go slow -- there is a lot to be achieved before you get carried away with this. Marriage comes with a lot of responsibility and in this competitive age, it is always smarter to equip yourself with all the skills, talents and capabilities that you can access before jumping into matrimony.
If a young lady wants to say 'no' to anything beyond kissing and caressing, she must not believe that saying so would appear prude and then succumb to peer pressure or an over-eager male friend.
On the other hand, a young man might not think it 'uncool' if he wishes to be discerning and take his time choosing a partner, even for the short term.
This world is sexually liberated. Since social mores are increasingly tolerant and accepting, the need for educating the young on disease, unwanted pregnancy and psychological trauma on 'being used' is more urgent than ever.
The financial equation between the sexes has changed. Sex without commitments or marriage is no more a man's thing. Medical advances in dealing with unwanted pregnancies have furthered thinking.
Here in India and abroad, the paramount concern continues to be to get 'settled'. Financially stable men, successful career-women, vociferous expounders of all sorts of freedom, sex available at its beck and call, that one person to 'love and cherish till death do us part' -- aren't these still the USP of fairytales?