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This Sunday is Friendship Day.
While the world celebrates the spirit of friendship, here's a tongue-in-cheek look at just why NOT having friends isn't just perfectly alright but can also be very rewarding!
(Disclaimer: This is a satire feature. Viewers are advised to take the content with sufficient quantities of salt. Pictures are used here for representational purposes only.)
The best part about not having a friend is you don't have to feel bad about not meeting them every other weekend or not call them up every other day to check on their well-being.
Think of it! You can wake up every Saturday morning and have full f-o-r-t-y e-i-g-h-t hours to yourself during which you can do pretty much anything your little heart desires... including spending the whole damn weekend in bed, ordering in pizza and not bothering to bathe, shave or… well you get the picture.
How often have you found yourself trying to be super sweet to that irritating partner/spouse of your friend… for the sake of your friend!
No friends, no problem!
Their family doesn't like you; you don't like them!
And pretty much the only reason all of you are in the same room without murdering the other is because of that idiotic friend of yours who insists on calling you over for dinner at every single occasion.
Ok so you love that pepperoni pizza.
Turns out your friend does too!
And insists on ordering just one because 'baatne se pyaar badtha hai!'
Extension of point number 4.
How often have you had to make do with a pasta dish that your friend ordered and insisted on sharing it?
Or that terrible dal chawal that he likes and you don't (but didn't have the cash to order in an extra dish?)
No friends! Problem gone!
Ok let's admit it, most of the time we are only just pretending to be concerned about the death of our friend's pet (or pretty much most of their problems).
And let us all admit that at one point or the other you have bunked work using your friend's problem as an excuse when in face you really didn't care much about it.
So, the great part about not having a friend is that you also don't have to pretend to care.
If you haven't watched a movie in a cinema by yourself, trust us you're missing something.
It is one of the most liberating feelings!
For one you can choose the show YOU like.
Buy just ONE large tub of popcorn and Coke (and not share it).
Laugh your gut out at jokes only you get (and not be shushed).
And not feel compelled to be polite and offer to buy food and/or tickets for anyone else but you!
How awesome is that!
Or their anniversaries...
Or their freaking partners' birthdays.
Or the birthdays of their cats...
Or that day they first met you!
You get the picture, don't you?
If you've postponed buying yourself that iPad for months because it is your best friend's birthday this month, his wife's birthday the next, your birthday the month after (and you will have to throw them all a party)... we have a feeling you know exactly what we are saying!
Go back to the start and read all over again.
And you will discover that not having a friend can in fact save you a lot of money!
Money that you can save up (to splurge on yourself, of course)!
Or use to repay your home loan!
And then you can quit your job and travel the world.
So do you really still need friends?
We thought so to!!!