'My wife says I am very unromantic. What should I do?'
Unromantic spouse? Angry parents? Long distance relationship woes?
Love Guru answered these and many more relationship queries in an online chat with Get Ahead readers on May 22.
Unedited chat transcript:
Pradeep Tupe: Sir, i like a girl from last 3 yrs she is so beautiful, but i cant tel her that i love u, she thinks we r just frnds & we are different cast. i want know that is i m really in love that girl or its attraction or i should propose her or not & will she agree that i m really love her...
Love Guru: Pradeep Tupe, everybody is in love with beautiful girls, so I don't blame you, but the question is, does she reciprocate your feelings or you are imagining her positive reaction?
Deepa A: Dear Mr.Guru, i am Deepa 27 from bangalore. I was separated but did second marraige very recently and he is very much older (60Yrs). we were planning to have a kid any issue bcs of his age
Love Guru: Deepa A, two months ago you told Love Guru your husband was 50 years old.. Anyway, am assuming your question to be genuine. Physiologically there may not be any issues, but the child will grow up with a father who could be mistaken for a grandfather. How that will play out among his/her friends, in school/college, etc, is not known, but be prepared for it. And all the best!
Sanjay Kumar: after 6 months of marriage, my wife not manage it all with my family what can i do
Love Guru: sanjay kumar, I know it sounds heartless, but staying with one's family after marriage --- while makes for good economic sense -- can be hell on a new marriage. Especially on the woman. Please see it from her perspective, and I am sure you will agree with what she is going through. These are the best years of marriage, do you want bitterness, resentment etc creep into it?
Anita Nambair: There is someone I believe I've completely fallen for...but I'm not sure if it'll work because I'm so young. I feel a connection to him like no other, and I'm too afraid to face it. Is he the right one? Is what I feel true? Or am I still too young? I am female and my birthday is 8-8-84...his is 10-29-78.
Love Guru: Anita Nambiar, my dear, I am sorry to sound harsh, but you are 30 years old, and that doesn't qualify for "too young" in matters of the heart. Two, he is just six years older than you. Now for your questions: Is he the right one? Maybe, maybe not. But there's only one way to find out. Is what you feel true? Same answer as earlier one. Are you too young? No, you are not.
Palomi: My problem is that I love one guy and he also loves me as he says to me. We both belong to the same caste and earlier there parents were ready for our marriage but due to some circumstances or u can say some misunderstanding created between our parents, they are not ready for our marriage. This person is saying to me to forget everything.
Earlier he said he will marry me when i will having my passport and i have applied for that and next month i will getting it in my hand. Now when i said to him for the marriage he said he is not going to marry anybody to the next one year. So tell me what should I do in this situation as I love him very much as its not possible to forget him. :(
Love Guru: What do you want to do, Palomi? If you want to stay together, can't the misunderstanding be resolved, considering it's your lives at stake? Don't the families see it that way? Is it so hard to convince them?
Jaipal Sahani: I am in love with a girl who has been liking / loving me since last one and a half year back. I came to know about it just 6 months back when she expressed her love for me. Thereafter I too fell in love with her. Now we are deeply in love with each other and wish to marry each other. We both are adult.
The problem is she is just half my age and moreover I am a divorcee. Also her parents are against the funda of LOVE. She loves me very much and i am afraid that if her parents refuse to accept our love she may leave her parent's house and come to stay with me. Please advice, is it OK and if not what should I do?
Love Guru: Jaipal Sahani, congratulations! And your question is...?
Pavan Chowdary: will we feel bored after beaing in a relationship for long time.is that true???
Love Guru: Pavan Chowdary,the person who told you this no doubt is an expert on relationships.
Mustafa: Hi love guru, I love my wife very much. but she says I am very unromantic. What I should do?
Love Guru: Mustafa, become romantic, simple! To start with, ask your wife what she expects as romantic gestures from you, and follow them.
Rajat: i like a girl i want to confess my love to her but i dont know how to tell her that i love her...
Love Guru: Rajat, as I keep asking here to every such question, in the first place has the girl indicated/communicated that she likes you or are you building romantic castles in the air?
Shaadik Choudhary: Hi, Love Guru I am following up a girl of my locality for the last three years. But i have not the courage to have direct talk with her. I am little bit of worry about my economic standard in compare with the girl.
Thougu i love her a lot i haven't talked with her. And the way she behaved with me when ever i have encounter in raods it seemed that she also likes me. Please suggest whether i should approach her?
Love Guru: Shaadik Choudhary, the first question is, has the girl shown any sign of being interested in you, or you building up the story in your mind? If she hasn't, your question to Love Guru doesn't arise, right?
Rashmi Lokar: my boyfriend and as with me are together for 3 years and we live in different countries, i just found out that he was cheating on me. we are going to meet next month. i want to go and see him next month , we have plans and i love him so much and i want him back in my life, what should i do to bring him back in my life?
Love Guru: Rashmi Lokar, long distance relationships come with their own tension points, inability to remain committed being the biggest. If you love him so much, and if he reciprocates, then you could give him another chance. But what will you do if this repeats, since as you say live in different countries?
Jinny: hi love guru...... i love my wife a lot we have been married for 4 years now.....but sometimes i get distracted looking at other women ....please suggest how to avoid this
Love Guru: Jinny, distractions happen to the best of men, why do you think ascetics chose to go away from society into the forest where they are free from it? The deeper question is, if you intend to follow up on the distractions, or merely accept them as distractions and let them be? If you follow up on them, that could lead to trouble that Love Guru has no solution for
John: I am single for 2 months now. I know its not a big deal, but I feel so alone. my friends are in relationships... even i want to be in a relation i cant understand where to start....
Love Guru: John, it is best to start from the same point you started out in your last relationship, since that's a tried and tested path for you
Zeel Kappor: My girlfriend is too close to my best friend and it makes me jealous.does it means she loves him,what to do?
Love Guru: Zeel Kappor, insecure, are we? Do you have girls as friends that you are fond of? Does that make your girlfriend jealous, have you paused to think?
Rittika Negi: my boyfriend feels fear about our relation....please suggest how to make him feel happy
Love Guru: Rittika Negi, you have not said what makes him fearful about the relationship, but I am presuming that he is feeling insecure. There could be two reasons for it.One, he is insecure by nature, in which case you need to go all out to give him the confidence he needs in the relationship. Two, perhaps your behaviour/friends/relatives/status etc make him feel fearful
Jim Vejvoda: love guru... i love a girl very much and even she does but she is not of our caste...my mom is against our relation, but we want to be together...... how should i convince my mom
Love Guru: Jim Vejvoda, you can try all the four known forms of persuasion, starting with the softest approach. The purpose should be to convince her that this is your life, which you would like to lead as per your choice, and that as mother your happiness is of the greatest importance to her
Shirish: I got together with my girl friend but there is a guy who likes her as well and we three are good friends, i think he is very much interested in my girl friend ....what should i do?
Love Guru: Shirish, do you really need someone else to tell you what you should do? What do YOU think you SHOULD do?
Got questions for the Love Guru? Post them here! Love Guru will reply to them on Thursday at 3 pm.
Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.
Photographs: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com