Avoid the blame game, advises rediffGURU Dr Upneet Kaur.
Focus on finding solutions rather than placing blame for overspending.
Do you and your partner argue about money?
Whether you're married or in a live-in relationship, it is important to discuss each other's financial habits, goals, and expectations.
Financial disagreements can strain relationships.
At the same time, having a clear conversation and setting goals and boundaries can help build trust.
rediffGURU Dr Upneet Kaur, a therapist based in Amritsar explains how to approach and resolve conflicts around money to avoid misunderstandings and prevent long-term damage.
Anonymous: My partner and I have lived together for three years, and we really love each other.
She is 36, I am 37. But our different ideas about money are causing huge fights all the time.
For example, I like to save, and she likes to splurge, and it's making us both stressed about our future.
How can we deal with these money fights without letting them ruin our relationship?
I grew up in a middle class family, while her parents are privileged.
She thinks I nag too much about money, that's why I am unhappy.
Can't we find a way to agree that works for both of us? Or is this just a sign that we're too different and can't get along?
Hello sir. As a relationship coach, I'd say that differences in spending habits are common in marriages, and it's not uncommon for partners to have varying priorities when it comes to money.
The key is to find a balance that works for both partners.
Here's what you can do:
Define financial goals
1. Short-term goals: Identify what you both want to achieve in the short term, such as paying off debt, building an emergency fund, or saving for a vacation.
2. Long-term goals: Discuss your long-term goals, such as buying a home, retirement planning, or funding your children's education.
Create a budget and stick to it
1. You can start by tracking your expenses to understand where your money is going.
2. Divide your expenses into needs (housing, food, utilities) and wants (dining out, entertainment).
3. Prioritise your spending based on your shared goals and values.
How to discuss money with your partner
1. Avoid the blame game. Focus on finding solutions rather than placing blame for overspending.
2. Express your concerns using "I" statements, such as "I feel anxious about our savings" instead of "You always spend too much."
3. Make a genuine effort to understand each other's perspectives and values.
I hope these tips help you both. Take care.
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