"Affair with a married man is tricky, he usually holds all the cards."
"Ultimately it is not about the physical distance or proximity that makes the relationship work but the amount of commitment one puts in."
Rediff.com's Love Guru has answers to all your relationship problems.
In an online chat every Thursday, Rediff.com's Love Guru addresses relationship problems and attempts to offer earnest solutions.
For those who missed the chat on September 10, here's the transcript:
Vimlesh Purohit: LG, I love a girl and when i go to her to tell about my feeling she shies away, I tried this several times but she smiles and runs away, what should I do?
I need to tell her about my feelings.
Love Guru: Vimlesh Purohit, good for you she is only smiling and running away, count your lucky stars she has not raised an alarm so far about you.
Obviously, she doesn't reciprocate your sentiments, so it will be good for you to drop the idea of declaring your love for her
Shaadik Choudhary: Hi LG, does long distance relation and live in relation really work in real life?
Love Guru: Shaadik Choudhary, is there a thumb rule for this, I don't know.
I know couples in a long distance relationship and live-in relationship who've made it work, I know couples who live in the same apartment unable to make it work.
Ultimately it is not about the physical distance or proximity that makes the relationship work but the amount of commitment one puts in
renuka salgaonkar: Hi I'm Renuka I'm in a relationship with a married guy from last 11 months and now have became more serious I don't know about him i think so he also is serious but I can't leave without him. What to do?
Love Guru: Renuka Salgaonkar, when you say you think he is serious about you, just what do you mean? That he will give up his family and marry you?
How can you jump to this conclusion if he hasn't told you?
Affair with a married man is tricky, he usually holds all the cards.
If marriage is what you seek, I suggest you speak to him about it before starting to dream of a future with him
aditya soni: I love guru i am aditya soni I love a girl..... but I never told him , and I dont now that she love me or not what i do tell plzzz
Love Guru: Aditya Soni, well, you can keep your love to yourself. Since you don't know if she loves you or not, it's not clear how she will react to your protestation of love.
I hope you have at least spoken to her, are friends with her otherwise. Because if you are not, what you are going through is infatuation, not love
Akash kumar: I need your help. I love someone but she have lot of ego she not understand me what can I do?
Love Guru: Akash Kumar, show me a person without ego and I will show you a saint, says I. But seriously, what I meant was that everyone has an ego, so don't make her ego the point of difference.
Maybe what you say is her refusal to understand you is nothing but your ego coming in the way?
Different people need to be handled differently, so learn how to approach her, and it will be all fine
ato-ismailabad: I am in relationship with a girl from last 4 years and we want to get marry but we don't know our families would agree or not as we have height difference and our thinking is quite different but we still love each other.
We want our families to agree but don't know how. Do you have any solution?
Love Guru: Ato-Ismailabad, Height difference? Most couples have a height difference, since when did it become an issue?
Next, you say your thinking is different, I hope it is not like one of you is a BJP supporter and the other is a Congress supporter, right?
All couples have differences, so don't make it a big thing. And, how can your families agree or not if they don't know about you? First tell them!
deepak patil: I have fear of communicating with girls. How to overcome it?
Love Guru: Deepak Patil, a little nervousness is fine, everyone has it. But it is when it becomes an all-paralysing fear that one should be concerned, and I suppose you have this problem.
What causes this fear, have you tried to find out?
Is it only while approaching girls, or are you a diffident person even otherwise?
I think it will help if you first try to identify the reason for your lack of confidence.
Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com
- 'She insulted me. But I still care for her'
- 'My wife wants to control me'
- 'Her brother is threatening me. What to do?'
- 'My mother-in-law rules my family. Help!'
- 'My wife left me. How can I get her back
- 'Is it advisable to tell my partner about my past?'
- 'I don't know whether she loves me or not'
- 'My GF does not like me talking to other girls'
- 'I don't think my GF loves me any more'
- 'I've suffered failure in love for the fifth time'
- 'I feel like marriage is my chance to escape poverty'
Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.
(Due to circumstances beyond our control, date and time of chat may change)