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'Single Mom, Engineer Looking For A Job'

Last updated on: May 15, 2024 14:24 IST

Take a hard look at all your strengths and weaknesses, focus on what you would like to do, get skilled in those areas and start looking for jobs, advises rediffGURU Archana Deshpande.

'I am a single mom, engineer. How to look for a job?'

Kindly note the image has been posted only for representational purposes. Photograph: Kind courtesy RDNE/Pexels

Are you struggling to find a job after a long career break?

What can you do to improve your confidence and polish your communication skills?

rediffGURU Archana Deshpande, the founder of TransformMe Life Skills Coaching, is an image consultant, soft skills trainer and life coach.

She has been working with individuals and corporate organisations for more than 10 years during which she has helped professionals and students improve their soft skills, build confidence and enhance self-esteem.

Anonymous: Hello. I am a 35 year old widow.
I have completed BE and worked in TCS for two years.
After marriage I had ten long years of career break.
Due to unexpected demise of my husband, I am strangled with my 6-year-old daughter.
I don't know how to look for a job.
I am not interested in software jobs.
Please guide me. How to proceed. I want to live a respectable life.

Hi. It is very sad that you lost your life partner at such a young age.

I know it is going to be tough for some time. What I also do know is that, because you are an engineer and you have work experience with TCS, it is not going to be as tough as it seems. It will take some time but you will be earning and living a respectable life!

Take informed decisions and start taking one step at a time towards your goal of a respectable life.

I am a little troubled that you said, 'I am strangled with my 6-year-old daughter.'

You gave birth to her; she is your responsibility and she is totally dependent on you.

You do have your daughter as your mate on this journey of life. Children are always a blessing, don't believe anyone who says otherwise. Cherish her and love her. Let the bond between mother and daughter grow to be a beautiful one.

After the death of a spouse, people around have this tendency to say things that have an effect on you; just trust yourself. You are 35 years old, believe in yourself.

You are a mother and motherhood gives you a lot of strength. Tap into it and move ahead in life for the sake of your little one.

Aim at building your career, earning money and living a respectable life. Here are some options to look into:

1. Check with TCS if you can go back; many of these big companies love it if their previous employees come back to work with them. Look around for a senior, a friend who can suggest courses you can do now to get back into the job market.

2. You said you don't want to get into software, how about HR or teaching?

3. Take a hard look at all your strengths and weaknesses, focus on what you would like to do, get skilled in those areas and start looking for jobs.

4. Create a goal card; let this always be in front of you. Have goals for every area of your life.

Take care of your mental, emotional and physical health.

Look for people who will uplift you and give you strength. Stay away from negative people.

Loads of prayers and blessings to both you and your daughter!


Anonymous: My daughter is 10 years old she doesn't want to study at all.
We forced her to study then she learned as I am also a working woman and her father is in abroad. So we arrange one home tutor and in the evening I taught her too.
I explained all subjects thoroughly to understand her basics.
At that time she studied; otherwise she doesn't want to study on her own.
She always need some pressure to study. Due to this her marks are not good at all.
She is an average student. Pls suggest what to do.

Hi! A working mother, husband working abroad, there is only so much you can do.

Spend quality time with your daughter, bond with her on stuff other than studies that brings happiness to both of you.

If you, as a mother, know your child's potential then this should be good.

You are saying she is an average student. You can set a certain percentage that she can score. When she scores that much, then celebrate it.

Let her live a balanced life, with the right amount of time spent on studies and other skills.

Expose her to other skills like, music, sports, debating, story telling... she will soon discover something where she excels!

Set a time for studies. Let her study during that time and rest of the time don't keep talking about studies, discuss and do something else.

Explain to her why studying is important. Make gaining knowledge, studying, a rewarding experience.

Every child comes with their set of strengths and success. As a mother cherish your child and enjoy your time together. Your child is unique, do not compare her with anyone else. Inspire her to be happy, healthy and knowledgeable by you being so!

Happy Parenting! Best wishes.


Anonymous: Hello Madam, My daughter is 12 years old and is in class 7. She is not at all interested in studies.
She is also not interested in making new friends.
She is always busy on playing games on mobile.
She studies just one week prior to exams. Her behaviour is also becoming rude day by day. Kindly suggest.

Hello! The addiction to mobile phones after COVID is a menace every parent is facing.

The good part is she is aware about her exams and studies at least one week before they start.

The rude behaviour, the lack of focus on studies when it comes to studies is all stemming from mobile games. They are highly addictive and the thrill they give is beyond imagination.

Slowly but surely, you have to take away the mobile from her; that's the only way to help her look for other sources to keep her busy.

Friends, new skills and studies will get her attention only when the mobile is away.

Allocate time for food, sleep, studies, play time and also mobile time in a day (you can't just take away the mobile, she has to be weaned away from it gradually).

Set a timer for mobile usage; she has to return the mobile as soon as the timer bell rings.

Please remember you are the adult here, she is just a child. Guide her, lead her towards better and interesting things to do.

You all as a family have to stop sitting with mobile phones, start reading books, play board games, learn a new skill, sing songs, cook together, bake together; if you make everything at home an interesting, joyful activity, why will a child sit with the mobile phone?

It is a going to be lot of hard work for you and if the end result of this is seeing your daughter away from the mobile, laughing and talking to her friends, playing around, studying well... then this is worth all the effort.

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I am a single mom, engineer. How to look for a job?