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5 simple tips to spice up your sex life

July 24, 2019 10:30 IST

Most women appreciate it when their partners want to make sure their needs are met.
The harder you work to please her, the greater the chance she’ll reciprocate, says Vishal Vyas.

Simple tips to spice up your sex life

Image published for representational purposes only. Photograph: A still from Tumhari Sulu 

We’ve all heard that women 'fake it', but did you know how many?

According Psychology Today website, only about 25% of women said they orgasm regularly during sex -- certainly not a number that inspires confidence in the sexual prowess of the average male.

Evidently, it doesn’t matter whether you’re from the land of the Kama Sutra or the home of KY Jelly; the numbers suggest that if you’re a man engaging in regular sex, you’re probably not doing a good enough job.

Fortunately, and contrary to what most of you are afraid of hearing, it isn’t the size of the ship that matters, but the motion of the ocean.

Even more simply put, how you’re doing is all about what you’re doing.

So, in the spirit of literally helping out our fellow man, here are a few pointers on how to make sex more pleasurable for your partner.

1. Ask your lady what turns her on

Think of it this way -- if you were asked to complete a task for a client, would you blindly charge without consulting them or, worse still, simply do things your way?

No, because that would be ridiculous, as is expecting any success in bed with this approach.

Having a direct, honest, and mature conversation about what works for both parties is the easiest way to figure out what either side enjoys during sex.

Not to mention, most women appreciate it when their partners want to make sure their needs are met. As an added bonus, the harder you work to please her, the greater the chance she’ll reciprocate.

Honestly, it isn’t that hard, guys.

2. Pay attention to more than just the naughty bits

Most of you (should) know that sex is about more than just penetration, which is why it’s so frustrating to women when men focus solely on the ins and outs, but not the big picture.

Begin to explore your partner’s body beyond just the genitals, paying close attention to what works and what doesn’t.

After all, erogenous zones exist all over one’s person and stimulating them can significantly enhance the sexual experience. For instance, acts that anatomically mirror intercourse, like sucking on toes or fingers, send similar signals to the pleasure centres of the brain.

The key is to be creative, while still being respectful of the boundaries set between you and your partner.

3. Get assistance from a sex toy

Sometimes, having a robot take over your job can be a good thing!

Toys are a fantastic way to bring a new dimension to your sex life, explore one another’s bodies in novel ways, and generally make sex more pleasurable.

A vibrator, for example, can be just as -- if not more -- stimulating than just your hands.

In the case of new couples seeking to improve their chemistry -- or old ones trying to spice things up -- a vibrator can guide the woman to climax.

Studies have shown that while around 30 percent of women have trouble climaxing with partners, almost all women can by using a vibrator, which might just be the answer to bring things back on track in the bedroom.

The incredible variety of sex toys on offer means you’ll never lack for options to spice things up so long as you’re open-minded enough.

4. Find some love for lube

Sex is hard enough, so anything that makes things go smoothly in the bedroom -- literally or figuratively -- should be a part of your sexual toolkit.

For many women, adding a lubricant can change sex from a borderline uncomfortable experience to an ecstatic one.

From fending off the physiological conditions like vaginal dryness or menopause to reducing the pressure of stimulation through foreplay, there is any number of reasons why lube could be the missing ingredient from your sex life.

Older partners, in particular, benefit from the use of lubricants.

A 2013 study suggested that almost 9 out of 10 women sex felt sex was more comfortable, pleasurable, and longer-lasting when lube was used. Don’t let your partner be the lone one out!

5. Learn to switch things up every so often

In sex -- as in life -- the last place you want to be in is a rut.

A little bit of creativity and adventurousness can go a long way, so we recommend changing up your routine whenever possible.

Sexual novelty is your friend, and studies have shown that it can increase the level of hormones that fuel sexual desire.

Trying new things in bed also gives couples the chance to communicate more and, in the process, become better acquainted with one another’s needs and wants.

As for how, there are plenty of ways: from having a change of scenery -- who said sex is just for the bedroom? -- to instituting a 'new position' rule for every time you knock boots, there are plenty of ways to diversify your sexual appetites.

What’s important is that both you and your partner find avenues that are mutually pleasurable and respectful of the other’s preferences.

The bottom line is that sex isn’t complicated, but it is hard work.

You get out of it what you put in, and a bit of effort with one’s partner can dramatically increase your sexual compatibility and the overall well-being of your relationship.

Vishal Vyas is general manager-marketing, Skore Condoms.

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Vishal Vyas