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5 easy tips to save your marriage

January 25, 2018 11:45 IST

If your partner is playing you hot and cold, you really shouldn't be with that person. Respect yourself first!

You can only love someone and be loved back when you learn to love yourself.

Easier said than done?

Yes, it is a process and it does take time. You can't just look yourself in the mirror and say, "okay, I love myself".

Loving yourself, like loving others, lies in the little things.

Start now and you will see that putting yourself first, prioritising your needs above the relationship will transform any relationship into a thriving one.

How to save your marriage? Start with these five steps:

1. Treat yourself the way you think you deserve to be treated

Do you think you deserve to be pampered, showered with love and attention by your partner?

Start doing that for yourself first. Do you think you deserve to be respected by your partner?

Respect yourself first!

If your partner sees how easily you put yourself down, or how easily you neglect your needs, they will be likely to mimic that too.

Treat yourself like the queen you know you are and they will follow suit.

2. Set clear boundaries for bad behaviour

If your partner is playing you hot and cold, texting you one day and totally forgetting about you the next... you really shouldn't be with that person.

You shouldn't allow yourself to be treated that way. But if you want that relationship to work out, talk to your partner about it.

Don't be afraid to bring up bad behaviour and your feelings about it.

A good partner will recognise these bad behaviours and respect your boundaries for them.

3. Stop putting your life on hold for them!

I was so guilty of doing this in the past. I would set my entire schedule around my partner and not only was it toxic to the relationship, it was toxic to every aspect of my life!

If you allow your partner or anyone, for that matter, to just walk into your life whenever it suits them or whenever it is convenient, and have them ignore you whenever it is inconvenient, these are not people you want to have in your life in the first place.

You have to show them, "ain't nobody got time for that".

Make your own plans, stick to them. Respect your time and they will respect yours.

4. Independence is key

When your partner feels that your entire happiness and being is dependent on them, they might feel that the relationship is more sacrificial of their freedom rather than an equal partnership.

Do remember, when you enter a relationship, everything is two-way.

You wouldn't want your partner to be too reliant on you either!

5. Learn to love being on your own

This is a tough one for many. But start small.

Have a meal on your own, watch a movie on your own. Go get your hair done.

All these things add up to some precious alone time that you (and the relationship) direly need.

Taking care of yourself is not a selfish act. You're not neglecting your partner.

It's about restoring yourself to your fullest potential so you can be the best partner you can be for them and you will see this being automatically reciprocated.

Lead image used for representational purposes only.

Sarah Voon