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10 reasons why women seek love outside marriage

December 24, 2019 10:30 IST

Believe it, or not women enjoy sex just as much as men do. 
When a woman feels dissatisfied with her sex life, she may find a lover outside marriage to meet her needs, says Solene Paillet.

Why women cheat

Image published for representational purposes only. Photograph: Andrew Biraj/Reuters

The belief that men cheat, but women don't is false.

Married men and women are equally likely to cheat. But they do so for different reasons.

Men commit infidelity primarily because physical urges drive them while women do so for sexual and emotional fulfilment.

A woman’s reasons for cheating are more complex than a man’s. Mentioned below are some reasons women are unfaithful.

1. She feels neglected, ignored, and underappreciated

A wife needs to feel she is the cynosure of her husband's eyes.

She wants to feel desirable. When her husband neglects her, ignores her, and doesn’t appreciate her, she feels undesirable.

To feel desirable, she may find a lover outside marriage.

From time to time, a wife would like her husband to treat her like a girlfriend.

She wants him to take her on romantic dates, buy her gifts, and vacation with her. However, when she feels like a nanny or maid, it may prompt her to find a lover who shows her an exciting time.

2. Her marriage lacks intimacy

Women feel connected through non-sexual interactions.

When a husband is thoughtful towards his wife, engages in fun conversations with her, participates with her in building a home, and is a co-partner in her social life, it supplies her with the emotional intimacy she craves.

When such emotional intimacy is lacking, a wife may seek it from someone outside the marriage. 

3. She’s overwhelmed by others' needs

Even in marriages where everything is going well, women may cheat.

When a wife’s duties revolve around her husband, children, work, and home, she may feel so overwhelmed that the only way she can experience life-fulfilment is through an extramarital affair.

Women who cheat under such circumstances may love their husbands, yet an extramarital relationship may be the only way for them to unwind.

4. She's lonely

When a wife feels lonely in a relationship, she may cheat.

Such loneliness may be caused by her husband working long hours or travelling frequently.

She may also feel lonely if her husband is emotionally unavailable.

The emotional void such women face can often only be filled by infidelity.

5. She has unrealistic expectations

Sometimes women who cheat have unrealistic expectations from their husbands.

They expect their spouses to be at their beck and call, all day, every day.

Rare is the man who can offer such attention to his wife.

Wives who have such unrealistic expectations may decide that their needs can only be met by finding a lover outside marriage.

6. She’s not enjoying sex with her partner

Believe it, or not women enjoy sex just as much as men do.

When a woman feels dissatisfied with her sex life, she may find a lover outside marriage to meet her needs.

7. Her husband is very critical

A woman who is always criticised by her husband will feel unappreciated and lonely.

Being subjected to constant criticism is enough to diminish any woman's self-esteem.

Such a woman may find a lover who respects her and treats her lovingly. By committing infidelity, she boosts her confidence.

8. She's bored

Men have many activities, including playing sports that add excitement to their lives; women have few such events.

A woman bored with her life may have no alternative besides infidelity to make her life more exciting.

Faced with having to choose between perpetual boredom and the excitement of an extramarital affair, she may prefer the latter.

9. She wants to date a bad boy

Women like sex, and many like wild sex.

A wife who believes that her husband is too soft and tender in bed may decide she needs a lover who brings her wildest fantasies alive.

When she's found such a bad boy, she may choose to commit infidelity.

10. Her husband is domineering

Conversely, a wife may feel her husband is too domineering in bed.

She may want to have sex with a man who is tender and caring. Such a woman may decide to commit infidelity when she believes she’s found such a man.

Women may commit infidelity because their husband is too tame in bed or too wild.

They may commit infidelity in spite of loving their husband or because they don't like him.

As emotions drive women, their relationships have an active emotional component. But many have affairs in which emotions take a backseat to unbridled lust.

Women are infinitely more complex than men and today, as taboos break down, they are open to experimenting with their sexuality despite being married.


Solene Paillet is marketing specialist, Gleeden, a discreet extramarital dating site for women. She can be contacted on ga@rediff-inc.com.


Solene Paillet