rediffGURU Dr Upneet Kaur, marriage counsellor and therapist, suggests how you can rebuild your emotional connection and feel valued your relationship.

What happens when two people staying in the same house feel neglected by the other?
It may not be loud or dramatic but the distance can be heartbreaking.
rediffGURU Dr Upneet Kaur, a marriage counsellor and therapist from Amritsar, suggests how you can rebuild your emotional connection and feel seen in your relationship.
- You may post your relationship-related questions for rediffGURU Dr Upneet Kaur HERE
Anonymous: I feel invisible in my own marriage.
I'm 36 now and we have been married for eight years. We have a beautiful daughter.
My wife is a great mother, homemaker and manages everything at home but we have nothing in common.
We haven't had a real conversation or emotional connection in years.
Recently, I got emotionally attached to a senior female colleague who actually listened to me.
We went out for coffee and there was an instant emotional connection.
I don't feel guilty but I am confused.
Is this how emotional affairs begin in long-term marriages?
Is it wrong to choose a partner you are emotionally compatible with?
Marriage is a long-term association in which, slowly and gradually, we get to know the positives and negatives of a person.
We all have two sides -- one is romantic; the other handles all the responsibilities.
Isn't it good that your wife responsibly handles all the household chores, along with your child, and takes care of your needs too?
Maybe she is also lost somewhere and burdened with all the responsibilities.
I understand that you may have problems and may not feel an emotional connection between you two. There are ways to sort this out.
Find some common interests that you both enjoy and do such activities.
You may talk with your wife at the end of the day and ask her about her day; you can share your day too.
You can discuss your future plans.
In earlier times, extramarital affairs were fewer because people used to work with each other and on their relationships. They did not give up on each other. That is why relationships often lasted for more than 50 years.
You can talk to your colleague as a friend. Friends do listen to each other and have an emotional connection but having a relationship beyond that would not be advisable.
- You may post your relationship-related questions for rediffGURU Dr Upneet Kaur HERE
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