rediffGURU Ravi Mittal, CEO, Quack Quack, an online dating web site, and Rebounce, a matrimony platform, suggests how you can to share your thoughts and concerns about marriage with your parents.
Finish your education.
Secure a well-paying job.
Get married.
Have kids and start a family.
The above chronology and life script was the life map followed by Indian parents until a decade ago.
Today, however, the younger generation looks at career, relationship and personal goals quite differently.
How does one convince pushy parents from pressuring you into a lifelong relationship you are not ready to commit to?
rediffGURU Ravi Mittal, CEO, Quack Quack, an online dating web site, and Rebounce, a matrimony platform, tells a young man that he must respond to such a situation through open and honest communication.
- You can ask rediffGURU Ravi Mittal your relationship-related questions HERE
Anonymous: My family is pressuring me to get married to a girl I am not interested in.
I am 36 and the girl is 28.
I am traditional, old school and she looks younger, the partying, late-night kinds.
She is very active on social media.
In fact, she was very judgmental about my clothes and totally non-committed about relationships when we spoke in our first meeting.
I can say with confidence that our vibes don't match but my parents don't seem to understand my expectations.
There was no formal engagement but my parents are proceeding with the marriage formalities because our parents are business partners.
They feel I am overthinking and overreacting.
I feel like no one is listening to me or what I want, including my grandparents.
What should I do? I want to run away from all this drama.
I understand your concern and how difficult it is sometimes to convince family members about our feelings.
Please have one-on-one conversations with your parents. Instead of sitting with both parents, speak to them individually.
Ask them direct questions based on realistic examples, like, 'She enjoys partying and I don't. What if that leads to a huge fight and in the end, divorce?'
'What if we never love each other and stay in an unhappy marriage?'
This might help your parents imagine the situation a little better.
Next, speak to the girl. Ask her what she feels about this marriage, if she would be able to adjust and eventually love you. Ask her if she is okay with a lifetime of adjustment and compromise.
Have an honest conversation. Don't try to convince her to break the marriage; rather, have a clear discussion and see how she feels about this honestly.
I am sure this will help you in the situation.
- You can ask rediffGURU Ravi Mittal your relationship-related questions HERE
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