'Self-grooming is very important; not only to attract your partner but also to boost your self-esteem.'
It can be painful and heartbreaking when the person you love says that they don't want to be with you.
What do you do when the person you're married to wants to seek a divorce because you're not attractive enough?
If the wife is financially dependent, and there are children involved, the situation becomes even more challenging.
rediffGURU Dr Upneet Kaur, a therapist from Amritsar, suggests how to communicate and seek clarity even as you rebuild yourself emotionally and financially.
Anonymous: My husband doesn't want to be with me.
We have been married for 7 years and have a 3-year-old daughter.
He says we are not compatible and wants to file for divorce.
I sacrificed my career for him and now he is in a relationship with a female colleague who is attractive and earns well.
He says I don't take care of myself so he doesn't feel attracted to me.
I don't know how to handle this situation.
Being married for such a long time, both partners start to take each other for granted.
I understand that you are taking care of everything at home. You must be handling your duties very well; that's why your husband is doing well in his professional life.
Female partners in any relationship who have sacrificed their careers for their homes and kids feel it more deeply.
Moreover, when you are educated but not working or earning, your self-esteem gradually gets low.
Working and being financially independent is compulsory these days.
Your kid is three and will start going to school in the next session. Plan some activity for yourself. This way, you will be better groomed and also financially independent.
Now, coming to your husband's extramarital affair... this needs to be sorted out between you both only.
Avoid involving families from either side otherwise it will become a filthy game. Try to talk to your husband about the future of your child.
If it is not getting sorted and he still wants to file for divorce, inform the families on both sides. Let them intervene and get informed about the affair he is having.
For the time being, concentrate on yourself. Self-grooming is very important; not only to attract your partner but also to boost your self-esteem.
I hope your problem will be solved as soon as possible.
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