rediffGURU Upneet Kaur offers advice on how to identify red flags before committing to marriage.
Managing interfaith relationships can be quite challenging.
With different cultures, beliefs and traditions, there will be several instances of conflict and compromise.
Under these circumstances, how do you identify the potential red flags?
Where do you draw the line between respect and tolerance?
"Marriage is a big decision," says rediffGURU Dr Upneet Kaur, an experienced medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
Here's Dr Kaur's advice to a bride-to-be on how to cope with the challenges of an interfaith love marriage:
Anonymous: My relationship started four years ago. Everything was fine.
My parents accepted him but his mother started creating problems over small things.
He is Jain and I understand that it is difficult for them to accept someone from a non-vegetarian family.
However, his mother told my father that my entire family should stop eating non-veg. She said many hurtful things. She also said that I should only wear suits and follow their rules.
I have always lived a comfortable life where I never had to do any household chores. His mother told my parents that I need to learn everything.
I come from a wealthy family, while his family is average. I am not sure if I can adjust to that lifestyle.
His mother created a lot of drama for two years and now suddenly she is ready to accept me. I am afraid she might go back to her old ways after marriage.
I have never had to worry about financial issues. I know things might change if I marry him.
He has also lied to me a few times.
When my parents visited his home and business, his father avoided showing anything and made excuses, which made my family suspicious.
Hello. I understand that it feels strange when someone changes suddenly so much.
You said the boy's mother's attitude changed and now she is ready to accept you.
Marriage is a big decision. And it does not work only with love. It needs many other practical things to work as well.
There would be compromises from both sides of the family -- managing finances, acceptance, trust and mutual respect.
Think as much as you want before you commit to the marriage.
I hope you will make a good decision.
Do remember that, after marriage, you cannot change things so easily.
Take some more time and get information on their business, family reputation and a bit more about their relatives and neighbours. You can decide after that.
Involve your parents too as they are much more experienced and would like to see you happy.
Take care!
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