'If you share a healthy relationship with your parents, let them know that while they are searching, you are open to meeting other men,' counsels rediffGURU Shalini Singh, founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service.
When you reach a certain age, it is normal for Indian parents to start looking for marriage alliances.
But what if you don't feel ready? What if you want to focus on your career, travel, pursue higher studies or simply take more time before committing to marriage?
'If you share a healthy relationship with your parents, let them know that while they are searching, you are open to meeting other men,' counsels rediffGURU Shalini Singh, founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas.
- You can ask your relationship-related questions for rediffGURU Shalini Singh HERE
Anonymous: My parents are looking for grooms who are 10 years older than me.
I don't connect with the person at all.
How do I convince my parents that I am not interested in marrying a random stranger simply because he is well settled, has a good job and good parents?
I am 24. I want to work, travel and have my own experiences.>
My parents don't want me to date anyone; they just want me to get married. How is this fair? Am I asking for something wrong?
First, breathe and smile.
I am not sure about the kind of relationship you share with your parents. Or if you are ready to get married now or later.
If you share a healthy relationship with your parents, let them know that while they are searching, you are open to meeting other men. Tell them you are not ready to get married for another two years as you are looking to work all your life and wish to focus on building a strong foundation for your career.
That way, when you do get married, you can focus on building a relationship rather than juggling both if you marry now.
Work on your early filters and share them with your parents as they search for a boy.
Don't fight with your parents because the more you push, the less they will listen. Tell them to search within the age group you want.
As for those who are 34, meet them (it's sad, but nothing can be done about it) and decline them if the age does not work for you.
Keep in mind that the man will not share his finances 'as expected by society' even if he marries you and makes way more than you.
Money is a sensitive matter and it is fair if he does not share it with you. You are marrying him and not a financial liability. However, things change in two-three years once trust is built.
A request: Please do not say yes just because he makes three or four times more than you. If you do, keep this point in mind.
Meet the men with an open mind; text less, meet more and observe more. Meet seven-eight times over different activities. For example, play a board game together, meet his friends and introduce him to your friends.
Keep in mind that a healthy marriage will allow you to work, travel and have your own experiences.
- You can ask your relationship-related questions for rediffGURU Shalini Singh HERE
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