'Instead of shouting or picking a fight, as soon as you feel that you're getting angry, remove yourself from the situation for a while,' advises rediffGURU Ravi Mittal, CEO of the online dating website Quack Quack and Rebounce, a matrimony platform.
Misunderstandings often arise in a relationship not because of what is said but because of how we react to it.
When your partner does or says something to annoy you, the natural reaction is to get angry.
'Instead of shouting or picking a fight, as soon as you feel yourself getting angry, remove yourself from the situation for a while,' suggests rediffGURU Ravi Mittal.
- You can post your dating and relationship-related questions for rediffGURU Ravi Mittal HERE
Anonymous: My boyfriend sometimes says things that really upset me and I end up getting angry very quickly.
For example, he may make a casual joke about my cooking or cleaning habits. He will sometimes compare me to someone else or say something sarcastic in front of his friends.
I am not prepared for it so it instantly triggers me.
Even small or silly comments like "You are just lazy" or ignoring something I told him and reminded him about weeks ago can make me lose my temper and react strongly.
This is starting to affect our relationship and daily communication.
I want to know how to deal with my anger issues so there are fewer misunderstandings in love.
How can I respond in a calmer way?
First of all, it's great that you have identified the flaw in yourself and are trying to rectify it.
Now, the instances you shared sound like legitimate reasons to have a reaction but how you show it makes all the difference.
Instead of shouting or picking a fight, as soon as you feel that you are getting angry, remove yourself from the situation for a while.
For instance, if your partner is making a joke that doesn't sit right with you, just leave the room for a moment until your anger fades and you can think rationally about whether the situation truly demanded that reaction.
If you feel that, yes, he was out of line, take your time and calm down first and then have an open conversation with him about how his jokes or comments upset you.
You are not the only one in the wrong here.
Trust me, a calm conversation can sort out 90 per cent of the daily problems we face.
- You can post your dating and relationship-related questions for rediffGURU Ravi Mittal HERE
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