'I stopped trying to meet societal expectations or please people who have no place in my life. The decisions I make, how I live and how I present myself are MY choices and I refuse to apologise for them,' says Malaika Arora.
Yes, I had a very public divorce -- and yes, it wasn't easy...
Divorce, especially under public scrutiny, comes with its own set of challenges: The judgement, the invasive headlines and the trolling.
But the most difficult part wasn't the media frenzy. It was the pressure of constantly being watched, analysed and criticised for making a deeply personal decision. It was painful to be dragged through the mud for something that should have remained private.
What mattered most was how I handled the situation.
The decision to separate was made with love and respect for Arbaaz. We both knew that our happiness needed to come first, not just for us, but for our son.
Arhaan was always our priority. Explaining the divorce to him was the hardest part. No child should have to experience that, but I made sure he felt loved, safe and secure during such a turbulent time. No matter what, his home would always be full of love...
The separation was emotionally taxing but it was also liberating.
It forced me to open up, not just to those around me but to myself.
I learned that vulnerability doesn't make you weak. It makes you human. Sharing my emotions with my loved ones became one of the most healing aspects of this journey.
The best advice I received during this time came from my family and close friends. They never questioned my decision to leave. They simply said, 'You're strong. You're making the right choice for you.'
But the worst advice came from those who projected their doubts onto me. They asked, 'Are you sure about this?' And while their concerns weren't malicious, they made the process harder than it needed to be.
At the end of the day, it was my decision and I had to trust that it was the right one.
The years after the divorce taught me a lot about self-worth.
I no longer felt the need to rush into a relationship to validate myself.
I focused on rediscovering who I was, on what made me happy. I wasn’t in search of Mr Right but of becoming 'right' for myself. I wanted to grow, to find my own path and to learn about myself without the pressure of being in a relationship.
To all the women out there, especially those who are newly divorced, here's my message: Don't wait for someone to complete you. You're already whole.
Society places immense pressure on women to be in a relationship but it's OK to live life on your own terms. You don't need a partner to define your worth.
Ending a relationship is not the end of the world. It's an opportunity for a new beginning. I’m proud of how far I've come and I know I'm a better person because of it.
My journey post-divorce has taught me strength, resilience, and the importance of taking care of myself so I can be there for those I love. I am not defined by my divorce. I'm defined by how I choose to live my life moving forward.
The end of my marriage to Arbaaz marked the beginning of a nasty and relentless media frenzy. The gossip, judgement, and insensitive headlines took their toll.
The hardest part wasn't the speculation -- it was the overwhelming, suffocating feeling of being constantly watched and analysed by the world.
For months after the divorce, I chose silence, hoping the dust would settle. But in return, I faced harsh, unforgiving judgement from people who had no idea what I was truly going through. I was criticised for making a personal decision that was mine alone.
The pressure of living under such scrutiny was unbearable at times.
Women often face this harsh, invasive judgement -- personal, probing and, frankly, lacking any understanding. I wasn't immune to that.
The most important lesson I've learned: Block out the noise.
But let me be clear, it's not easy to ignore the noise. Not by a long shot.
The world never stops talking, never stops judging, and it can be overwhelming. But you learn. You have to.
I surrounded myself with the right people -- my mom, my sister, my son, close friends and even my dog. They became my sanctuary. They help me stay grounded, and they remind me of what truly matters: My happiness, my peace of mind, and my health.
With their unwavering support, I found my peace, my strength. They keep me focused on what's important -- not the trolls, not the haters.
I stopped trying to meet societal expectations or please people who have no place in my life. The decisions I make, how I live and how I present myself are MY choices and I refuse to apologise for them.
Excerpted from It's Easy To Be Healthy: Malaika's Guide To Living A Good Life by Malaika Arora with the kind permission of the publishers, Bloomsbury Publishing India.
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