rediffGURU Anu Krishna, mind coach and co-founder of Unfear Changemakers, offers advice on how to cope with infidelity and what to be prepared for when filing for divorce.
Filing for a divorce on grounds of suspected infidelity can be emotionally draining and overwhelming.
The uncertainty of not knowing the full truth combined with the stress of ending a long and committed relationship can lead to a lot of insecurity and self-doubt.
While counselling a married woman who suspects that her partner is unfaithful to her, rediffGURU Anu Krishna, mind coach and co-founder of Unfear Changemakers, says, 'You have two paths in front of you:
'1. Either you move on or
'2. You make your marriage work.'
- You can post your relationship-related questions for rediffGURU Anu Krishna HERE
Anonymous: How can one married woman destroy another's life?
My husband has been spending more time with his married office colleague whose children have grown up and live abroad.
Since I am a homemaker, whenever they meet at our home or during public events when I am around, they talk in riddles that only they seem to understand and laugh about.
It used to be annoying and I have also expressed to both of them how I feel. But I am never taken seriously. They even hug each other so intimately that I feel like the third wheel in their relationship.
My husband never appreciates me; he even refuses to acknowledge my feelings. He thinks I am some illiterate homemaker but I had a well-paying job. I used to lead a team and I know I am not overreacting. I can tell when a colleague becomes more than a co-worker. I can tell that they are having an affair from the way she holds my husband's arm.
I am tired of confronting them and I don't want to lose my sanity trying to defend my respect.
I am just waiting for my daughter to complete her board exams so I can talk to her about this.
Anu ma'am, I need your help. How can I seek a divorce while still keeping my dignity?
Dear Anonymous, you have two paths in front of you:
1. Either you move on or
2. You make your marriage work.
Both paths are not easy but the latter can help you rebuild your marriage.
However, if you feel strongly about moving on, do find a good lawyer who can help you with the legal proceedings.
To maintain your dignity, make sure that you clearly state what you want as part of your separation.
No, there is no shame in this or in backing out; your lawyer should be able to take care of it.
Also, divorce can take a huge toll on your emotional health. Make no mistake about it, especially since you are the aggrieved one in this case.
And if your husband chooses to contest, the battle can turn ugly.
Be prepared for these turns of events.
Keep your family and friends close as you will need people to lean on.
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