Conversations with her bestie in the bathroom and other Dosti tales from Tista Sengupta.
Friends are the weirdest things on this planet. And I am 'blessed' to have a few from this species in my life.
While some of them are audacious enough to beat up anyone who tries to rub me the wrong way, some can take a bullet for me. That's how much they love me.
I have had many friends in 27 years, but most were like seasons; they came and they left.
But a handful of them have stood by me at all times, both good and bad. If you have the right set of friends who think alike, are fun to be around and with whom you can speak your heart out, you just don't need a boyfriend/girlfriend to get rid of your loneliness.
They will make your life full of fun-filled moments that you will cherish forever.
I, too, distinctively remember such crazy times I have had with my dearest friends.
Before you read this, do remember that what we did was in the spirit of having fun, so please DON'T judge us.
Sanitary napkins have multiple uses
We all know when and how to use a sanitary napkin. But did you know that it has many more uses? For one, it can help you sneak in things.
Two years ago, my friends and I were at a music festival near Mumbai. The boys in the group wanted to get 'high' as a kite, but were scared of getting caught.
The security at the entrance were frisking those walking in, checking bags and cigarette boxes and asking people to remove their shoes to make sure nothing unwanted was being sneaked inside the premises.
Then my dear friend, D, came up with an idea. When we finally understood what she was up to, we couldn't believe our eyes. D turned smuggler with the help of a sanitary pad.
No wonder, she breezed past security.
Bodyguard reporting, 24x7
Good friends are both protective and possessive. They will make sure they are with you when you need them, and even when you don't.
Of the several experiences I've had, I clearly remember one at a club in Mumbai. My girlfriend and I were dressed to the T, all set to paint the city red.
Like any other Saturday night, the club was so jam-packed that we didn't even think about dancing. We stood at the bar to avoid being squished by party fanatics.
But men will be men. The moment they see pretty girls around, they want to come closer and strike a conversation. First they ogle at you, then they offer to buy you a drink.
Something similar happened with me.
Although I ignored the guy -- it was very evident BTW -- the creep didn't want to back off.
My friend understood what he was up to. She came close, held me tightly by my waist and pulled me towards her.
I was shocked!
I felt uncomfortable, wondering if the people around us would think we were lesbians.
That, it turned out, was exactly what she wanted.
The guy didn't move still; perhaps, he felt lucky to see two women grinding each other.
All of a sudden my friend looked at him and said, "Boss, stay away from her. She is my love. She is my partner. If you look at her one more time, I shall break your head."
The guy vanished; I've never seen him again.
Of periods and poops
I know talking about your bowels or periods is disgusting. But when it's with your bestie, it doesn't matter. After all, period and poop issues are important too.
Poop talks come in many varieties.
The one I recently had with my friend focused on colour, shape and texture. By the time we finished, we were prepared for a doctorate in the subject.
Similarly, when we are in our menstrual cycle -- which happens to be back-to-back -- that's the main topic of our discussion.
Okay, I get it. I should stop otherwise you might just throw up.
Right in the middle of a very interesting chat with your bestie, you suddenly feel an uncontrollable urge to pee.
So you ask your friend to hold on, rush to the washroom, quickly empty your bladder and come back to hear the rest of the story.
But I don't like to do things in a hurry, especially when it's something like emptying my bladder. I love being in the washroom for a little longer.
So I moved the conversation to the washroom, making sure she didn't hear any tinkles. And the juicy conversation continued merrily.
In fact, there have been times when my friend and I have returned home late at night, drunk from a party, and had long chats in the bathroom.
Frankly speaking, bathroom chats are the best. But it's only possible when you have your bestie around.
Sharing is caring
It takes me back in time to my early 20s. Both my childhood friend and I were nursing our first broken hearts. Surprisingly, we weren't lost and directionless, but we wanted revenge. We wanted to bully men, and how.
If we both liked the same guy, we would take turns to chat with him for long hours. We made him feel he was really very important to us.
Now, the fact is we might be the best of friends, but we are different individuals. We never fought over a man.
The guy would be pursued by whoever he impressed more. But the other one always tagged along. We didn't want each other to face heartbreak again.
With two pretty girls pursuing him, the guy may have thought he was a dude. Sadly, or maybe be happily for him, he didn't know we were the ones having all the fun.
*Image published only for representational purposes.