Everyday Heroine: 'Trusting Someone With Your Baby Is Difficult'

This Women’s Day, meet Mable, a working mother who balances her career with being there for her child.

Nineteen months into motherhood, Mable has realised one truth -- a working mom never really stops working.

Her day begins long before her office hours do. “As a working mom, I must say we work round the clock,” she says.

Mornings for her are a sprint -- rushing into the kitchen, finishing chores and stealing some time for herself before her little boy senses she’s near.

And he always does.

“In his sleep, he will blabber ‘Mumma mumma.’ I have no words to describe how melodious it sounds first thing in the morning,” she says. It sets the tone for her day before he heads to his grandparents and she heads into her corporate world.

But if there’s one thing Mable has struggled with, it’s trust. “To be very frank, trusting someone with your baby is very difficult,” she admits.

In the early months, she was the only one who knew his routine, his meals, naps, diaper times, what he could eat and what he absolutely couldn’t. “I prohibited sugar and screen time in the initial days but not everyone understands or accepts your ways of parenting. His care was the hardest part for me.”

Still, she insists she doesn’t carry ‘mom guilt’ on her shoulders every day. But she is human.

“Mom guilt creeps in at times when I see my baby not eating healthy. I feel I should have prepared something nutritious rather than allow him to eat chocolates,” she says. “But I make it a point that the little time I get after work, I pamper him, take him for a walk, play with him or teach him words and actions. So maybe mom guilt disappears.”

With a toddler, she has accepted that planning only takes you so far. “Not everything can be under your control. You can’t control your baby’s actions, reactions or society,” she says.

She creates her own calm through small systems like keeping his clothes ready, stocking fruits so he doesn’t reach for junk and, most importantly, building habits she hopes will stay with him forever. “If my baby joins his hands during prayer, I feel I’ve developed a good habit. The rest of the things he’ll learn gradually.”

Her philosophy is simple: Be present.

“When you are at work, be wholly there so you can justify your work. And when I’m with my son, I’m fully with him. No other thoughts cross my mind.”

Behind her strength is a strong circle. “The best part is my husband and my parents-in-law. In my absence, my husband takes care of our baby's shower and sleep schedule. His eating and playing is taken care of by my in-laws.”

She’s grateful her work timings allow her to come home for “toddler tantrums", which she mentions with a laugh.

When asked what keeps her going, Mable says, “The way he laughs. He laughs his heart out and the sound of that laughter is worth all the effort.”

One thing she would like to see is people respecting boundaries set by working moms. “No sugar means no chocolates, no muffins, no pastries. No screen time means the child is free to run, scatter toys and play. Screen time doesn’t help; it just makes him sit in one place for hours. I wish people would respect the boundaries set by parents.”

Motherhood, she admits, has changed her completely.

“All decisions are child-centric now. Career can’t wait either, so it’s an endless race where sometimes the child is priority and other times it’s my career.”

To new mothers, she offers some advice: “Let time heal you, physically and emotionally. The excitement you had seeing two pink lines may not be the same when you hold a crying newborn. You may miss outings, social gatherings and career graphs. But remember, you were chosen to be a mother. With time, you will rediscover your new self.”

And her final piece of wisdom? “Communicate your needs. Don’t always expect your partner or people to understand. You have to speak.”

Mable may not think of herself as extraordinary. But with her determination, her love, her exhaustion, her laughter and her unfaltering spirit, she represents what Women’s Day truly celebrates -- the everyday heroism of mothers who show up, again and again, for their children, their families, their jobs and themselves. 

Dear Reader, do you know an Everyday Heroine? Share their story with us. Write to us, with their picture, at getahead@rediff.co.in (subject: Everyday heroine). Do share their photograph. We look forward to hearing from you.