'Start with forgiveness,' counsels rediffGURU Archana Deshpande, an image consultant and founder of TransformMe Life Skills Coaching.

Moving on from a painful relationship is never easy.
There is trauma, guilt and the fear of being hurt again.
While counselling a female struggling to trust a new partner, rediffGURU Archana Deshpande, an image consultant and founder of TransformMe Life Skills Coaching says: "Start with forgiveness... you need to forgive him and forgive yourself too."
- You too can post your life and relationship-related questions for rediffGURU Archana Deshpande HERE
Anonymous: I am 43, single and looking for a lifetime partner.
I got married at 28 but, within two years, things didn't work out and we had to file for divorce.
It was very painful because I had done everything to make the marriage work.
It took me five years to heal from the guilt and trauma and find myself again.
Even today, when I meet a potential date, I find myself doubting the guy's every move.
It could be a survival mechanism but it is not letting me trust anyone.
How do I work around this and find a relationship where I feel secure and confident?
Hi. I can understand what you are feeling. I am very glad to hear that you have put in the effort to heal.
You really have to build on your experience of having been married once, taking it as a learning experience.
Look hard at yourself and see what went wrong and what went right too.
Take away the blame game and start rebuilding your life again, one step at a time.
Start with forgiveness. You need to forgive him and forgive yourself too.
Open yourself to new relationships, new possibilities and the belief that you deserve to have a life partner.
Everything has to start afresh.
Start taking care of yourself first.
Let all the areas of your life radiate confidence and freshness.
- You too can post your life and relationship-related questions for rediffGURU Archana Deshpande HERE
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