'There was a huge cultural gap. I could not understand the slang, the Mumbai lingo, and would often feel left out during conversations. Since I had studied in the Hindi medium till then, I could not understand English,' says Anup Raaj, an alumnus of IIT-B and founder of InstaPreps AI, a confidence-building platform for students, and coaching institute 7Classes.
Growing up in Chenw (a small village in Rafiganj, Aurangabad, Bihar), which used to be a Naxalite area, Anup Raaj did not attend school till he was in class 5.
Years later, when he secured an All India Rank that opened the door for him to study at the Indian Institute of Technology, Bombay, his challenges were far from over.
"Coming to Mumbai was a culture shock. The schools in Rafiganj did not have more than four or five classrooms. When I reached IIT, I was quite shocked to see so many hostels and buildings for students," Anup had told Divya Nair/Rediff in 2015.
"My grandfather didn't believe me when I told him that the IIT-Bombay campus was bigger than our village. He thought I was exaggerating but it is true," Anup had shared then.
Anup, who graduated in civil engineering from IIT-B, has not forgotten his initial days of struggle as he faced the challenge of moving to a big city like Mumbai and the pressure of studying at IIT-Bombay.
"There was a huge cultural gap. I could not understand the slang, the Mumbai lingo, and would often feel left out during conversations. Since I had studied in the Hindi medium till then, I could not understand English.
"Day 1 at IIT-B was frightening. The chemistry professor had studied in the US. He had a heavy accent. I was struggling with chemistry and could not understand a word in class so I started carrying a dictionary."
Beyond academics, he had to cope with financial disparity as well.
"Irrespective of which college you go to, there are so many costs that go beyond your tuition.
"There is a canteen; you have to pay for snacks, birthday treats. And if you are not financially well off, you will feel the pressure.
"I had to think several times before saying 'Yes'.
"Thankfully, my friend, Aditya, always offered to pay for me. He was very kind to me."
Anup recalls the days when he felt low and lonely.
"I could not call home and talk to my family. They were already burdened and I didn't want to stress them. So I would call up Anand Sir (of Super30, where he trained for IIT-JEE).
"No matter how busy he was, I would keep trying his number.
"Whenever he picked up the call, he would always listen and comfort me. And that helped me.
"Even during the pandemic, when I was going through a bad financial phase, I dialled his number. I told him I don't need money, I just need someone to talk. And he motivated me."
Sharing his coping strategies, Anup says: "I have read the Bhagawad Gita when I was in Class 9. Whenever I was low or felt lost, I would make a list of actionable items; even if I didn't follow it later.
"Every day, I would go to the library and learn new keywords. That's how I learned to help myself."
In 2019, Anup founded InstaPreps AI, a confidence-building platform for students preparing for competitive exams like JEE, NEET and Olympiads. He is also the founder and CEO of 7Classes, an institute that offers online and offline coaching for school and competitive examinations.
"I have always felt that schools and colleges need to have a system that monitors children round the clock," he says.
"Every school and college has an in-house counsellor. But honestly, how many students or parents access it?
"The reality is very different. Children go through various situations at school. They may not necessarily think about calling a therapist or a counsellor."
As a mentor, Anup shares practical advice based on his personal experience:
1. Always stay calm. When you are confused, make an action plan that details what you want to achieve. It will give you some direction and goals to focus on.
2. When you join college, stay in touch with at least one teacher or mentor from your school. You should have one person on your speed dial -- someone you trust, someone who can give you honest feedback and mentor you when you feel stuck. This person should be someone who knows you, knows your strengths and weaknesses.
3. Work on your communication skills. It will give you the confidence to deal with any situation. I have interacted with students who have failed in mathematics but their communication skills were so good that the failure did not define them.
4. People often cheat or attempt suicide because of the fear of failure. You have to remember that failure can't be predicted. Everyone fails at some point. But if you are prepared, you will be better equipped to deal with it. Everyone has to learn and figure out how to deal with your weak moments.
5. Parents need to talk to their children regularly to find out what is happening in their lives. If your child is not comfortable talking to you, you have to ensure that she/he has access to someone who can talk to them and help them process their emotions. This person should be able to tell them at the right time that 'This is normal. It happens.' And then guide them as to how to deal with the situation.
Dear Reader, are you a B-school, engineering college or medical school alumni? What advice would you like to share with management, engineering and medical school students who are currently facing the challenges of coping with the challenges of higher education -- in terms of their studies, being away from home and living in an atmosphere they are not familiar with, language difficulties and financial constraints.
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