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Dating online? What women want to SEE

Last updated on: September 17, 2021 14:36 IST
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Women are as interested in honesty as they are in humour, says Ravi Mittal.

What women look for in a dating profile

Kindly note the image has been posted only for representational purposes. Photograph: Kind courtesy Andrea Piacquadio/

Dating is not easy; neither is setting up an online dating profile.

In case you find yourself struggling, here are a few tips about what women look for.

1. Your bio

When women read your bio, they are looking forward to knowing you. They want to gauge the kind of person you are and find out if you'd make a good partner.

If you use a cliched bio copied from the internet or leave it blank, they would feel you don’t want to put in effort in your profile (let alone in a potential relationship). They will also think you are not willing to take the whole dating process seriously.

A blank bio clearly comes clearly from men either looking for a casual relationship or checking what women on the app have to offer.

A copied bio says that you want to enter the dating scene but are not sure whether your real self will be seen as witty or not.

Truth be told, women look for honesty as much as they look for humour.

Yes, it is difficult to sound interesting when all you get is a few lines to talk about yourself but the advantage that comes from being genuine should not be overlooked.

Even if you do not always have a quirky bio or a witty reply ready, be yourself and rest assured that someone will like you for who you are.

2. Your photos

When we say your photos, we really mean YOUR photos and not group photos of you hanging out with your buddies in a bar or a sunset shot or even that mountain peak you climbed recently.

When women see your photos, they want to see you in different settings, doing different activities and just being yourself.

If they bump into blurry photos of five different men hanging out or having a fun time, they will immediately move on to the next profile because they wish to date and not play Guess Who? (that too, sans Ashton Kutcher).

Use your best photos and try to keep them just about you.

Pictures of you in your room, at a music festival of your favourite band, trekking or doing any sports or outdoor activities are all good.

Mix up the settings and present yourself in formal, informal, workout and traditional clothes to show your different sides.

A group photo of family and/or friends in the end is okay but absolutely do not set it as your first picture. Photos with pets are always welcome, nay, adored.

3. What you have to offer

If you are on the app to look for a partner, you have to showcase the potential you have as a partner.

What you write about yourself, and your pictures, speak volumes.

If you express any kind of judgement, prejudice or negative comments, that will be the impression they have about you.

For example, if your bio says you don't want to date a gold-digger or that you are a nice guy, it comes across as red flags that women would avoid at all costs.

Women do not want to date an emotionally immature man or somebody they would not feel safe with.

If women contact you on a particular app for dating and you start stalking them on their social media or Linkedin or try to incessantly contact them by other means, it may result in you being reported and blocked from their lives forever.

Instead, think about what you are looking for in your potential partner.

Keep the mystery alive by asking them questions about themselves instead of stalking them.

4. Your interests

Women will like you and start a conversation if your interests match; if not, they won't. It's as simple as that.

How do you ensure your interests sound appealing?

When you talk about your hobbies and passions in your profile, make sure they set you apart from the rest of the crowd.

If you like watching cricket and want your date or partner to share your interest, talk about it in a different way.

Instead of just saying 'I like to watch cricket', you could talk about your favourite cricketer and explain what you admire about him/her.

Women viewing your profile might connect with you and discuss the innings of the last match and the records broken by a cricketer you both love.

If you like to play music or listen to it, highlight your favourite singer or add a link to the latest song or music you've played on your instrument. 

That one is bound to get you messages.

5. Your EQ and IQ (Emotional and Intelligence Quotient)

Both EQ and IQ are necessary for a relationship. They are what women seek when they are browsing through profiles.

If you wish to sound intelligent by writing about the long list of books you have read or all the high IQ web series you have watched, it might have the opposite effect.

Trying to portray that you are a new-age Sherlock because you can deduce so much about somebody from the euphemisms they use might indicate you are clever. But, by doing so, you also come across as low on emotional intelligence.

Likewise, if you carry emotional baggage from your past relationships and talk about it all the time, you display emotions without thinking whether it is the right time to reveal it all.

Take a step back and see if you are presenting yourself as someone willing to date or as someone looking for unconditional support as you unload your feelings.

Your dating profile and first few interactions will determine what kind of people you attract.

But, with a few small, smart tweaks to your profile, you may just find your perfect match online.

Ravi Mittal is the founder of the online dating app, Quack Quack. 

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