Mastectomy brings a visible change to a woman's body. Scars, changes in breast shape and concerns about how their partner may react can make intimacy difficult, says Dr Vani Parmar, head of department -- breast oncosurgery, KIMS Hospitals, Thane.
From the time a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer to her gradually recovering from it, her body goes through a lot.
When breast cancer treatment involves a mastectomy, it changes the way women see their bodies.
It alters their confidence, their comfort and intimacy with their partner.
These feelings may continue long after the cancer treatment is over.
Mastectomy brings a visible change to the body. Scars, changes in breast shape and concerns about how a partner may react can make intimacy difficult.
To be honest, there is no fixed timeline for feeling comfortable again. Some women regain confidence quickly; others need more time. Both reactions are completely understandable.
Comfort matters for intimacy
After breast surgery, most women worry about how their partner will see them.
She wonders whether the scar will be noticed, whether her reconstructed breast will feel different or whether her partner will find her as attractive as before.
These concerns should not be dismissed as being 'only in the mind' because body image can have a real impact on intimacy.
For instance, a 52-year-old woman faced a recurrence of breast cancer more than two decades after her first treatment. After her initial diagnosis she was eventually required to do a mastectomy.
During this time, preserving her sense of self became an important part of her treatment. She chose immediate reconstruction, which helped restore the shape of her breast while her cancer was being simultaneously treated.
Over a period of time, as she moved through reconstruction and recovery, she also looked forward to returning to the active lifestyle that she had always enjoyed.
When someone is comfortable with their own body and they can return to their everyday lifestyle without worrying about what had happened to them, it's a win.
Talking to your partner helps ease anxiety
For couples, honest conversations make it less intimidating.
A woman does not have to explain everything about her cancer history. But when a relationship is serious, sharing your feelings and fears can help build trust.
There is no 'correct' way to have this conversation. Asking what feels comfortable, rather than making assumptions, is recommended.
If your wife is recovering from surgery, asking simple questions like 'Is this okay?', 'Would you like me to avoid this area?' or 'Tell me what feels comfortable for you' can makes a huge difference.
Don't shame the scars
Surgical scars are permanent and at times they do change a women's perspective about how their body looks.
But the scars don't take away their attractiveness and femininity.
Perspective and choice also vary from person to person. Some are comfortable showing their scars; others prefer to keep them covered.
Neither choice is wrong; neither requires justification.
Partners should avoid staring, making insensitive comments or constantly asking questions about the surgery.
Take physical recovery seriously
Intimate activities should be resumed according to the individual's recovery and medical advice. If something hurts, don't proceed.
Reconstruction can restore breast shape; however, pain, tightness and altered sensation around the operated area can make intimacy uncomfortable/painful for the woman.
Addressing this beforehand can help prevent tackle any unrealistic expectations as far as both partners are concerned.
Confidence takes time
Breast cancer may change the body, it may change the women’s perspective but it does not have to define a woman's relationships or her sense of intimacy.
For those who still struggle to cope up with their own thoughts, counselling can prove helpful.
The main goal here is not to return to exactly how things were before cancer but to find a new sense of comfort, confidence and connection during and after cancer treatment.
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