'You deserve to be with someone who chooses you fully, without delay or hesitation,' advises rediffGURU Kanchan Rai, founder of Let Us Talk Foundation.
Are you in a relationship with someone who makes excuses for not committing to you?
Does your partner avoid serious and difficult conversations about the future?
Does s/he make you feel anxious, confused or treat you like an option all the time?
According to rediffGURU Kanchan Rai, founder of Let Us Talk Foundation, "waiting for someone who says they cannot take action means putting your life -- and your ability to find happiness and stability -- on hold."
Anonymous: Hello Ma'am I am in a love with a married man and I love him immensely.
He'd told me that he loves me a lot and is ready to leave his wife.
But now he is telling me that he can't leave his wife because it is impossible for him to take this step.
Should I wait for him or not?
I am a Bengali woman from the Jatt community.
It's important to begin with honesty, both with yourself and with what he has shown you through his actions.
While he may have once said he would leave his wife, he has now clearly stated that he cannot take that step. That shift in his stance is not just hesitation, it is a boundary he has chosen, one that may not change despite how strong the emotional connection between you may feel.
His inability to move forward isn't just about his circumstances; it's a reflection of where his commitments lie and it leaves you emotionally stranded in a space that is neither fully committed nor completely free.
Waiting for someone who says they cannot take action means putting your life -- and your ability to find happiness and stability -- on hold.
Ask yourself: What are you truly waiting for? Hope? A promise he might never fulfil?
Or are you waiting because the pain of letting go feels greater than the pain of staying in uncertainty?
You deserve to be with someone who chooses you fully, without delay or hesitation. Someone who can build a life with you, not just speak about a love that lives in a future that never arrives.
The hardest thing to do in love is to walk away from someone we deeply care for; but sometimes that is the very act of self-respect and self-love we need to grow and truly heal.
You are not wrong for loving him. But ask yourself now: Do you want to keep loving someone who has told you he cannot be yours? Or do you want to start the difficult but empowering journey of making space for someone who truly can?
The answer lies not in waiting for him to change but in deciding what you deserve and then standing by it.
- Feeling stuck in a relationship? Ask rediffGURU Kanchan Rai HERE.
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