'My Sister-in-Law Controls Our Marriage. Please Help'

rediffGURU Dr Upneet Kaur, a medical professional and therapist, tells you how to tackle a well-meaning but intrusive family member.

We all have that one family member whose intentions come from a place of love but their constant involvement in personal decisions feels overwhelming.

It could be a parent, a sibling, in-laws, a friend or a close relative.

How do you say NO and set clear, respectful boundaries without hurting their feelings?

rediffGURU Dr Upneet Kaur, a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar, tells you how to communicate with a well-meaning but intrusive family member.

Anonymous: I am 34 years old, married for 6 years. We live in Pune.
My husband's sister is always involved in our matters. She decides what we buy, how we raise our child and even stops us when we fight.
She stays nearby and comes over daily.
My husband never stops her because she is older by 6 years. But I feel like she controls our marriage.
I am tired of keeping quiet. What should I do?

Hello ma'am. Yes, it is sometimes tough to handle such situations.

You must keep your calm and maintain your cool.

The next step is to talk to your husband about this without saying anything bad about your sister-in-law.

You can say something like, 'I agree that your sister is caring about us, sharing her motherhood experience with us and guiding us but we should be handling our matters on our own now. She also has a family to take care of.'

This way, he'll feel that you don't have any problem with his sister and will take into consideration your family's privacy.

• You can post your questions to rediffGURU Dr Upneet Kaur HERE.

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