rediffGURU Dr Upneet Kaur explains how to deal with a partner who casually flirts and dismisses your feelings as jealousy and highlights why it's important to have certain boundaries in love.
Do you or your partner feel that your relationship has changed post marriage?
Is one of you feeling insecure when the other person flirts or talks to the other gender?
How does one balance trust and boundaries in a relationship?
"Marriage is not a prison and should not feel like one," says rediffGURU Dr Upneet Kaur, a therapist based out of Amritsar, while counselling a young married woman whose husband feels it's okay to casually flirt with other women.
Anonymous: Dr Kaur, I have been married for three years. Ours was a love marriage.
We dated for five years during college.
My boyfriend, who is now my husband, used to be a harmless flirt. He had many girlfriends before me.
When he proposed to me, he promised that I was the only soulmate in his life.
Now, when we go out, I have noticed that he ogles at other women.
I agree that he is charming and girls find him attractive. Sometimes he casually flirts with my friends as well. No one has a problem or complaint.
But I am feeling threatened.
When I mentioned, he said I am jealous and there is no harm in staring at other women or flirting harmlessly.
He said marriage should not feel like a jail sentence.
I don't know how to handle this.
I understand that you are feeling jealous in this situation.
But if it's his nature to take things casually and he is not doing anything that is harming others then you should not feel threatened.
You should talk to him and explain to him that this behaviour of his is hurting you.
It's also true that marriage is not a prison and should not feel like one. You have to make him understand that both partners should have fun in a relationship and take care of each other's needs and emotions.
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