May 12, 1999
One for the best bowling in the world
Before I start ...let's lay the ground rules. If you're an Indian fan who has lost all hope and is thoroughly frustrated with the Indian team in particular and life in general, then you'll probably identify with this column. If, on the other hand, you are a huge Indian fan and are willing to wager your mom's Banarasi silk sari that India is gonna win the World Cup, then you are better off attending one of the many 'Good Luck India' Concerts/Matches/Contests... .
One of the silliest remarks I've read in all time came from the coach of the pathetic team... Anshuman 'fielding-is-our-weakness' Gaikwad. Can you believe the man actually said India have the best bowling attack in the world! Yeah sure, maybe his words are justified by Srinath finally, finally, getting his first wicket with a yorker! Hell, maybe in 3/4 years he'll even bowl a slower ball. By now, Agarkar has probably used up all his luck in picking up wickets, and whatever Sachin may have to say about him, he's going to get himself hit all over the park. Venky's leg-cutters may get him a fluke wicket or two, make sure you keep him away from Ijaz though.
I bet Kumble's faster than Srinath. The greatest miracle of modern times was watching him actually getting one to straighten ... with a little practice, who knows, he may even earn his title of 'leg-spinner' by getting one to turn away. Don't you just hate it when the commentators (in an effort to be nice ) describe him as an unconventional leggie! I mean, go ahead and say it guys.... Kumble's a medium pacer.
Let's hope Sachin doesn't do his back in again ... who's gonna finish all those ads then??? Will he blow slow-medium or spin? I hope it's the latter .....at least then we can say we've got a real 'spinner'. I think Azhar will have a go with the ball. If nor for anything, at least to show Jadeja up! Another case of 'what-you-can-do-I-can-do-better'. Debashish Mohanty may not be all that good. The excessive oil on his head may solidify in the cold conditions and that may be a big distraction. Poor guy, I hope he enjoys the nets in England cause he certainly won't get a game in! So much for the best bowling attack in the world.
In fact, in the case of the Indian team, attack is a misleading term. Well, good for India they've got an optimist as their coach cause they need some positive thinking.
PS: The article is written in good humor and the writer begs not to be taken seriously.
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