|HOME | SPORTS | COLUMNS | ARMCHAIR EXPERT|
|June 26, 2000||
Thank you for reminding us you were part of the communityAvinash Subramanium
How could we ignore that? How could we commit the unpardonable sin of loving you unconditionally? How dare it not matter to us that the young man who made that world record breaking debut for India was not simply a proud Indian? How could we allow ourselves to forget he was from the minority community? And sorry for assuming the India cap meant playing as an Indian. Sorry Azza, for having persecuted you for being part of the minority community.
Just to remind ourselves, so we feel even more contrite than we already do, how did we persecute you?
Ah yes, by shouting ourselves hoarse every time you cracked every one of the million odd times you 'delicately glided' the ball through mid-wicket. By getting up at 5.00 am on weekdays for the pleasure of watching you field on the lovely grounds Down Under? By calling in sick when you and Sachin were tearing apart the South Africans. (It was so brilliant, none of us need to be reminded when.) And by being foolish enough to glug down bottles of Pepsi 'cause you happened to be the one saying 'More cricket. More Pepsi.' (Fortunately not me, but I know people who were gullible enough to do just that!)
So, how did we persecute you?
Was it by giving you the honour of leading the national side for the longest period of time in the history of Indian cricket. Or by cheering wholeheartedly when you became the most successful captain in the history of Indian cricket? Or maybe it was by giving you a shamelessly wide margin? *#it! how could we be so cruel? But of course, because, as you so helpfully informed us, we are part of the 'majority community' and you are part of the 'poor persecuted minority'. Sometimes one wonders whether 'Indian' is a minority community. (Excuse me while I take a moment here to abuse violently off the record.) Come to think of it Azza, we wish everyone were persecuted the way you have been. And if this is persecution, give me a huge helping of it. (Garcon! Bring me 'persecution' for appetizers, the main course and dessert!) Idolize me night and day. Ask me for my autograph even though you know I'll refuse you 9 out of 10 times. Persecute me by showering me with gifts, endorsements, million dollar contracts, cars, car tires, watches, suits and pure love and affection.
Anyone in a mood for some persecution? Only one condition, you must not accept this love unconditionally. You must possess the cruel ability to find the perfect moment to put a spoke through all this adulation. And hearts. After all, you must not let persecution go unpunished. Come to think of it, why don't you try persecuting us the same way?
Chances are, the majority of us would love to be part of your kind of 'persecuted minority'. A kind, not answerable to anyone. That can get away with blue murder. And pampered way beyond what can be construed as even 'remotely good'. We'd be more than willing to exchange some of the fruits of your persecution for the way the majority of us cricket-lovers feel? Maybe then, you'll be able to enlighten us on the ways in which we persecuted you.
'Persecution' at a glance:
Cut back to 1987: when India won in 1987 Down Under, it was the Australian press that kept reminding us we were a team of 10 'Hindoos' and 1 Muslim? I repeat, it was the Australians, not us that referred to you as the minority. (Though, to be honest, some of us now wish we had been as parochial. Sorry, I take that back.)
Cut to, I forget the date: our last Test series in Pakistan. When you were made 'compromise/convenience' captain. (The first time.) You replaced the only captain in the history of Indian cricket to have returned from the tour of Pakistan without having lost a series. But of course, we reserve such special treatment only for persecuted members of the minority community.
Cut to…oh, forget it! just hear this Azza, many of us don't need people like you in this Indian team. In fact, some of us would even say we don't need people like you in this country. And no, don't ever make the mistake of assuming we're saying this because you happen to be part of the 'minority community'. As far as we are concerned, you were/are an Indian. And you played for India. Though, now, some of us wish you never had. (Sorry, I take that back.)
Mail your response to Avinash Subramanium
SINGLES | NEWSLINKS | BOOK SHOP | MUSIC SHOP | GIFT SHOP | HOTEL BOOKINGS
AIR/RAIL | WEATHER | MILLENNIUM | BROADBAND | E-CARDS | EDUCATION
HOMEPAGES | FREE EMAIL | CONTESTS | FEEDBACK