I belonged somewhere in between: didn't know much about it; didn't think there was much worth knowing. But that was before I found this little paragraph: "No intelligent person can discount any subject simply because of a lack of knowledge of the subject."

That made sense. And it raised a number of questions. Even if I knew nothing about the subject, why would I need to? Why investigate something I thought was downright ludicrous if not exactly laughable? Was it worth the trouble?

Then I found a reason. If I knew more, I could get back at the 'mystic mumblers' who spouted astrological terms every time I spoke to them. And yes, I also had nothing much to do.

That decision made, the rest was easy. There were millions of sites claiming to be the last word on the subject. I could try a few.

Astrology zone looked like an interesting place to start, and its September horoscopes caught my attention. Clicking on my start sign, Capricorn, got me this: "September has all the makings of an outstanding month", the summary read. "Although your window in which to act is narrow, you can take full advantage of cosmic vibrations if you are organised and energetic."

Why, I thought to myself, couldn't they come up with broader hints, or something more specific? I was never disorganised and as for energy, I have never believed in wasting it.

I looked up some wealth tips (I could do with a few) next. "You're so prudent and wise with your spending and investments, that others come to you with their money to manage."

If only those "others" got around to reading this page.

The next site I went to knew more about me than I knew existed. My lucky colours, it told me, were blue and black. My lucky day was Saturday; lucky stone, blue sapphire; and lucky numbers, series of one, four and eight. There was also something about lucky furniture and lucky cars! If that wasn't all, marital bliss meant I would have to find someone under the sign of Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn.

At cyberstrology, my horoscope for September wasn't too comforting. To be honest, it was rather confusing in the light of my recently acquired knowledge. "Work off excess stress in the gym, not on those closest to you. Normally high energy, perhaps high strung, you need to find ways of relaxing."

What was I to do, now? Be energetic, or find ways to relax? Follow my heart -- which is what Web site 1 asked me to do -- or do what was 'astrologically correct' according to Web site 2?

Rediff astrology came next, with me all prepared to find some contradictory information on what was lucky and what was not. I looked for my lucky colour and it said "wear black on every Saturday". Bang on target.

"You are what you eat", added astro diet. Unprepared for its painful advice I clicked on. "Chocolates and refined sugars are to be avoided as they have an adverse effect on people born under this sign".

Today chocolate, tomorrow TV, discos and ice cream? What if my fiancé was born under the sign of Libra? Would I need to dump him and go for the pan wallah who was a Taurean instead?

I didn't think so. Nothing can take away chocolate and ice cream from me. Not in this lifetime.

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