There are sites that -- only half-jokingly, I think -- list signs showing you've been online too long.

For example, you could be reading a book, they say, and start looking for the scroll bar to get to the next page. Or maybe you now pick up the phone and start dialling an IP number. Or when someone says something funny at the office, you suddenly yell 'LOL' out loud. Or, you get into your building lift and double-click the button for the floor you live on.

Scariest of all, they warn that you could marry an email buddy and the two of you could sit at your respective computers chatting to each other, every night, from different rooms.

I am not amused. Though I suspect this may have something to do with my level of identification with the symptoms mentioned above.

There are other ways of proving that someone's been online too long. It's when they pay others to create sites that do absolutely nothing. The list is endless. Go to Something for a quick peek. Or, Purple, Promote, Mario, Of, or Bullwinkle. All perfectly good examples of how some have money to burn, and others live for the sole purpose of creating the banal.

Since this is about dotcoms, (how do you think I earn any money?) there's good news for those tired of the usual suffixes. A company called Idealab wants to change the face of URLs as we know it. Along with a spinoff called New.net, the company is all set to challenge the authority of the Internet's primary ruling body, The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) , by preparing to sell up to a dozen unsanctioned TLDs (top level domains) that it plans to administer on its own.

ICANN is the international organisation chartered to oversee the administration of the domain name system (DNS), and granted seven new domains in November, including dot-biz (.biz), dot-museum and dot-info. Idealab was still unhappy. So, people, you can expect domains like dot-store, dot-firm, dot-pic, dot-movie, dot-mp3, dot-kids, dot-chat, dot-xxx, dot-game, dot-sport, dot-euro, and even dot-duh, soon enough.

Not that there isn't enough variety with the good old dotcom. Splorp lists available domain names of the week, letting you pick anything from snotpocket.com and wooferthump.com, to xerology.com, tepidwater.com, or wrongprotocol.com.

Enjoy.

By the way, ever wondered what most people think about system administrators who work at dotcoms or IT companies? Not much, right? What would you do, then, if given a chance to marry one? Who Wants to Marry a Sysadmin? asks women everywhere to do so quickly because they - the techies, not the women - are "all getting fatter and paler by the second." The page lists and profiles a set of 'eligible' bachelors regularly, and also accepts applications for the same.

On second thoughts, people married to system administrators shouldn't complain. They could, after all, be married to the kind of people featured at Bozo Criminal of the Day. The stories here are, supposedly, true, with only the names changed "to protect the stupid."

Read about bozo criminals like Frank Green, who was convicted of robbery and begged the judge not to give him the mandatory seven years because it was his unlucky number. The sentence was conveniently changed to eight.

And if you think that's ridiculous, try The Damnedest Things You Have Ever Seen for stories, pictures and funny anecdotes that are unbeatable, as far as stupidity is concerned. It's the propensity for inanity among humans that makes me turn, at times, to sites created for animals. Like Amazing Prehistoric Dogs which is dedicated to a modern-day dinosaur of which, apparently, only a few breeds still exist. It identifies four main breeds -- Delta skrimpy, Candola tando, Frimpo inca, and Numbi timbus. Do I believe this? No comment.

From dogs to Gods. Imagine playing games based on Indian myth and legend, where you can pick from 'archery war games' or other experiments involving folklore. They're on their way, courtesy a company called Purple Drop, in California, which has already acquired gaming rights to Pentamedia's animated feature film, Pandavas.

It's always nice to end things on a pleasant note. Or with something musical. Your options: The WWW Virtual Keyboard which lets you click on the piano keys to hear notes they represent. Just like a real piano, says the site, only "slower, smaller, sillier, and doesn't sound nearly as good."

Not your kind of stuff? Look at the World's Largest Drum that stands more than ten feet high. Affectionately called the Monster, it measures about eight feet in diameter and nearly four feet between its two heads.

From the best of human endeavour, to the silliest accomplishments mankind can boast of. All this and loads more, on the Internet. What would we do without it? Watch TV? Nah!

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