VC stands for vanished capital. Burn rate is the pace at which you burnt your fingers. And eyeballs
are something that have cataract.
If you agree with these, then you have lots of company out there on the Web. That’s the good news.
The bad news is that it’s FuckedCompany.
One of a slew of sites making merry at the expense of floundering dotcoms, FuckedCompany.com
is based on the “classic deadpool game”, where you pick celebrity deaths. Instead of celebs, this
one is about dying dotcoms. FC rates different levels of a company's demise and awards points
based on the level of severity. It also brings you all the news -- bad news, actually -- about Internet
companies.
Apart from a listing of recent ‘fucks’, the site features a Hall of Fame, a Happy Fun Slander Corner,
where readers post their two bits (some of them are actually funny), an archive, wireless alerts, and
a find-a-job section, too.
If you don’t enjoy this sort of company, you won’t much like Dotcomfailures.com either. “Kick ‘em
while they’re down,’’ says the site. And it’s doing a fair bit of kicking.
Read rumours, updates, and reports on Dotcoms that are digging their own grave – just in case, you
have already managed the task, list your company and domain for sale. Alternatively, you can join
the growing band of Cassandras by making your own predictions of doom; browse through the dead
list; read funding information; track stock prices of companies in your track list… Whew! there’s so
much you can do with failures.
A question: Do dead dotcoms go the way of all flesh? Try http://www.upside.com/graveyard/, and
you will know where at least some of them have ended. An online burial ground, where Upside
Today pays homage to recently departed Internet companies. Each of the graves has basic info on
the Dotcom, its date of birth and death, burn rate, famous last words and an assembly-line
tombstone.
If, god forbid, you work – or, more likely, worked -- for any of the companies featured on these sites,
then you might need to log on to Ijustgotfired.com.
In the site’s own words: ‘‘Going through the “here’s my non-work email address” ritual with all your
former work buddies? Then you obviously need an ijustgotfired.com email address. Any name you
want @ ijustgotfired.com is yours just because we are nice people and it makes us chuckle.
Besides, seems like everyone we know just got fired… Print your ijustgotfired.com address on your
out-of-business cards (which are downloadable), hell you could even put it on your letterhead. Do
people still use letterheads?’’
Can it get lower than this? Sure. Try Despair.com. Their logo :-( sums it all up.
What this company does is sell you stuff – it calls them 24” x 30” lithographs – which will help you
tap that elusive wellspring of potential hidden inside you. What potential, you may ask. ‘‘Perhaps
you're a wholly reasonable person, with the potential to become an irrational fool? Perhaps you're a
team player, with a potentially argumentative loner lurking about inside you? Or perhaps you're a
dreamer, within whom lives a potentially disillusioned grouse, simply waiting to take flight on the
wings of bitterness?’’
Its series of lithographs called Demotivators – available in the following categories: Entropic
Expressions, Failure To Succeed, Idiotic Insights, Pessimistic Visions, Teambreakers and
Underachievers – comes with an unconditional guarantee to inspire you to new lows. Read the
FAQs, they are a peach.
By now, we are sure you are drowning your misery in a Patiala peg. Experience tells me that
definitely won’t help. What could is Startupfailures.com: a serious -- yes serious -- attempt to help
entrepreneurs have a smoother ride on the startup roller coaster. Includes entrepreneur coaching,
expert advice for bouncing back, lessons learned from startup failures and inspirational articles on
successful entrepreneurs.
Hopefully, after you have surfed through Startupfailures.com, we won’t be seeing you at any of
the other sites mentioned. And on that happy note, I am off to live my dotcom dream again.
Tell us what u think of this article
