Have distortions crept in your married life lately? Beware of your parents. It has been found that in many marriage break-ups parents' unsolicited advice is often to blame, an expert on marriage says.

Florida-based marriage counsellor Ernest Underwood said, "Unwanted advice of parents should be avoided while tackling crisis situations in a relationship. The couples ought to be independent to make their own decisions."  

During the initial period of marriage, couples do not have the kind of understanding.

"However, they should exercise self-control during a crisis situation and resolve the problem by themselves, avoiding unwanted advice from their parents," Underwood said.

This, Underwood said, would make the couples stronger, happier and equip them mentally to tackle situations in future.

Underling that inability to meet conflict situations with good emotional reactions often leads to strained relationships, he said couples should deal with disagreements in a rational way.

Underwood, who has written a number of books and conducted radio shows on the problems facing the institution of marriage, said that one of every two marriages in the US ended up in divorce.

"More and more people are now opting to live together rather than marry, because they only want to enjoy, but not shoulder any responsibility," he commented.

Advocating that couples should go for marriage only after attaining maturity -- after 26-27 years, he said till adolescence, one fails to understand the tremendous responsibility marriage puts on him or her.

Selfishness and ingratitude are the hallmarks of an unhappy marriage, Underwood, who also performed over a thousand marriage ceremonies, maintains during a talk on 'How to Stay Married -- Avoiding Divorce' in Shillong.