Stuck for romantic words to express your true feelings? The Web comes to the rescue

A friend once told me that she used to help a classmate with writing love letters; so he could woo his girlfriend. I was incredulous. Love letters are meant to be an expression of one's most intimate emotions. How can you write love-letters for someone else? But that is exactly what a plethora of sites do today.

Passionup.com, lovingyou.com and Ojaanam are sites that offer a list of love letters you can choose from. Register for free and start using it. Electpress.com gives you a few free letters. If you want more pre-written love letters, go in for a paid membership.

Ara John Movsesian says she launched Love Xpress to "help people express their love and affection".

If you're wondering why people use ready these ready-made letters instead of writing letters themselves, Sanjay Khosla gives you a reason. This young Mumbai-based man, whose girlfriend studies in the US, uses letters from lovingyou.com. He justifies:  "I can't write to save my life. But my girl friend is a die-hard romantic and though we communicate through email, she wants handwritten love letters. If I tried to write on my own, she would disown me. If I can get a love letter that would make her happy, why not?"

"Sometimes it is very hard for people to find the proper way to express their feelings, these letters and poems help them communicate what's on their minds," Ara adds.

But can a love letter written by someone else truly convey what's in your heart?

Emilie Johnston, president of the 'love letters channel' at LibraryOnline explains why it can: "The real trick to writing a good love letter is to imagine yourself in the lover's shoes. Most of our site's love letters are by writers who have experienced, or are currently experiencing, the same situation the subscriber is going through, a factor that contributes to the authenticity of the prose."

Mischelle D'souza, a housewife who regularly emails her Dubai-based husband using letters from passionup.com, agrees, "Yes! These letters can convey what you feel. All love relationships go through the same phases of jealousy, loneliness, hurt, passion or joy."

But Avinash Gupta, an engineering student, insists that no one else can express what's in his heart. "What I feel is unique to me. Each relationship may have similar ups and downs, but none of them is the same. Even if my girlfriend can't write well, I would prefer that she uses her own words, rather than sugary ones that are not hers."

For Sheila Singh, who's pursuing an MA in psychology, using someone else's words amounts to "putting up a pretence". She says, "Why should I pretend to be able to write a romantic letter? If I can't, I can't."

Sanjay does not agree: "It's not a pretence, because I don't just pick up a random letter. I choose one that fits our relationship. I add a few sentences of my own and rewrite it." Mischelle too adds a personal touch by modifying the 'fill-in-the-blank' style letters available and then mailing them to her husband.

Ronald Gomes, from Mumbai, does not need any help with letters and reasons: "I'm not so good at letters, but I'd rather not write to my wife than use someone else's words. However much you customise a pre-written letter, you cannot personalise it."

But 'personalising' a pre-written message is what many of us do all the time. We use greeting cards to convey wishes to our friends. Often we search long and hard to find that perfect card. If printed cards with touching words can be used to convey feelings of friendship or love, why not pre-written letters?

Mischelle has an answer for those who feel that using these letters is not personal enough. "If I can't find anything that expresses my feelings, I look up the tips available. There are plenty of sites that offer useful tips on how to write love letters."

The Love Letter Collection is a virtual love letter chest, where you can proclaim your love, without revealing your identity. In the words of editor Cindy Loehr, "It is an ongoing collection of anonymous love letters that have been submitted by visitors to the site." Cindy receives numerous submissions from lovers who want their letters published.

Though love letters are intensely personal, people still contribute. Cindy explains, "Romantic love often causes feelings of alienation and frustration. Sharing feelings with a public outside the relationship, and reading about other's situations, can be cathartic. On the other hand, people who are feeling the sunny side of love often want to give public voice to their feelings. People submit their personal letters from a desire to move personal experience out into public realm."

Of course, love letters are the most intimate expression of one's feelings. But as Ara puts it, "Basic feelings are universal." It's no wonder then that the letters my friend wrote helped unite her classmate and the girl he loved.

*Some names have been changed on request.

Additional resources:

Mere Mehboob
Library Online
Tips
Guidelines
Share a Letter

Would you use the Web to write a love letter?