These days, we do all of that on the Net. Often without a great deal of success.

Nonverbal cues, like our body language, gestures and facial expressions, which help us communicate effectively, are absent while chatting or emailing. Add to that, technical glitches, slow connections, a lack of understanding of Netiquette and Net lingo, and you have a recipe for confusion and misunderstandings.

Pooja Nair, a finance consultant, says: "I have a habit of logging off suddenly if I get annoyed. When an actual disconnection happens I have a tough time explaining that I wasn't upset. Also, when I'm chatting with more than one person, I type the wrong message to the wrong person -- it can be quite embarrassing."

"My girlfriend claims that I don't love her anymore," says Rohit Malhotra. "She says that earlier I would jump up to say 'hi' as soon as she signed in on the instant messenger, but now I don't, and hence the conclusion. I'm tired of telling her that these days it's just that I'm more busy."

Aseem Hattangadi almost lost a friend because he wasn't clued into Netiquette. "When I was new to chatting, I didn't know that caps (capital letters) meant shouting, so I kept using caps and that spoilt my relations with a friend. But now we are cool," he grins.

Emotions are difficult to convey on the Net. A shorthand language of smileys and emoticons helps make expression easier, but misunderstandings persist.

John Suler, who runs the Web site, The Psychology of Cyberspace, says, "Psychoanalytic thinkers call this transference. Your distorting the person's intended meaning could lead to misunderstandings and conflict. It could stimulate countertransference -- reactions from your Internet partner." His Web site explores how individuals and groups behave on the Internet.

For Vivek Narayan, it's a professional necessity to stay online all day. "Sometimes, I forget to change my status on the messenger when I leave my desk, and this leads to misunderstandings. People may think I'm avoiding them. Also, at times, my instant messenger lets me down. If I don't receive a message due to the technical faults of the messenger service, it leads to a whole series of uncalled for events."

Prasad Fulambrikar suffered an embarrassing moment when he ended up chatting with someone he thought was his sister. While trying to add his sister to his messenger buddy list, he inadvertently typed the wrong email address. "For the first few sentences the person on the other end responded very nicely to me. The real drama started when I asked the person lots of personal questions." Shortly, he realised his mistake, when the person sent this message: "Hey idiot, who are you? Get lost!"

Sometimes the meaning gets distorted and sometimes people don't catch it at all. "Several times I have gotten into trouble with friends because they did not catch the sarcasm I heard in my head as I typed the words on the screen," says Soniya Sharma. "I think it would be beneficial to include a 'sarcastic key' so people would know it was coming and expect it."

Vidisha Gupta, a graphic designer, complains, "My colleague just sets his status to 'away' when he doesn't want to reply or help me with something. And I am aware of this. He wants me to go over to his desk and request him all the time."

Sometimes an email may not reach the intended recipient, triggering off a bout of reactions. Puneet Sinha got into trouble for not replying to his boss's email, which he had never received in the first place. "This may happen again and I might not be let off so easily the next time."

The expectation that people will respond immediately also causes problems. "If my client does not reply in a day or two, I assume he is not interested," admits Sheetal Koppikar.

Communication is always fraught with the risk of being misunderstood. On the Net, the risk is magnified. So, to stay on the safe side, you could try these guidelines:

Dos and don'ts:

On personal email/chat: Express yourself carefully: email may be interpreted differently from speech. Read a message before sending it and ask yourself what your reaction would have been if you had received it, given its particular context. Realise that what is a timely response for you may not be so for the other person. Don't discuss emotional issues in your mail. They will almost always be misinterpreted. Never have a fight via email. The context is lost. If you intend to be funny, include a 'smiley' or 'emoticon' to make this explicit. What's funny for you may not be funny for someone else. Don't chat with too many people at a time. You may not be able to handle the confusion and send the wrong signals instead. Never reply to everyone on a distribution list. Reply only to the author of the message. The author summarises all replies and sends them to the entire list.

On business email/chat: Keep your messages short, concise, and to the point. Too much of friendly padding may not be considered as professional. Always include a 'subject' in your email that sums up the entire content of your mail. Before forwarding a message, consider its ownership and the author's intentions as to confidentiality. Email is not secure. If the content is sensitive, consider encryption or ordinary post. Maintain an online address book, from which you can select the email addresses. This way, you can avoid spelling errors. Do not send a message that purports to represent the company/ organisation without authority. Include a disclaimer if there is risk of misunderstanding. Retain electronic records as if they were paper documents. Delivery of email messages, and delivery within a specific time, cannot be guaranteed. If your message is time critical, consider sending it by another method. Some software allows the receiver of your email to read the "Bcc" field too. So, watch out.

Additional Resources
 -- Email etiquette
 -- Email abbreviations
 -- Smileys and emoticons