A study conducted last year by the San Jose, California, Marital and Sexuality Center and MSNBC indicates that roughly 6.5 per cent of male Internet users are compulsive cyber sex addicts.

Most addicts claimed that they now spent less time with their offline partners. The researchers also found that compulsives have more problems with relationships than those who visit X-rated sites occasionally.

Jennifer Schneider, physician and author of books on sex addiction, and Robert Weiss, clinical director of the Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles, describe cyber sex as 'any form of sexual expression accessed through the computer or the Internet'.

According to them, effects of addiction include a weakening of real-life friendships and social contacts. In their article Understanding Addictive Cybersex, they talk of how the increasing amount of time the addict spends online causes his or her spouse/partner to feel lonely and ignored, and the need for cybersex with a stranger can be detrimental to the spouse's self-esteem and result in feelings of betrayal.

Schneider and Weiss say that it affects the couple's sexual relationship "not only generally because the user stays up much of the night, but specifically because the spouse (and often the user) compares her body and her sexual performance to that of the online men and women, and believes she/he can't measure up and/or the user or partner loses interest in having sex with each other. Many couples have no relational sex in months or years".

Schneider conducted a survey of 94 people who had suffered the repercussions of their partner's involvement in cybersex. Results indicated that cybersex addiction was to blame for the separation or divorce of 22.3 per cent of the respondents. The research also found that 'among 68 per cent of the couples one or both had lost interest in relational sex: 52.1 per cent of addicts had decreased interest in sex with spouse, as did 34 per cent of partners.' This was because the partners felt unable to measure up to the online people and pictures. Most considered cyber affairs to be adulterous and of the same magnitude as offline affairs

Titillating invitations like 'Welcum to cybersex, where the best ppl cum to chat or chat to cum!' result in a growing number of visitors. This translates into a greater number of addicts.

It's a strong addiction: How else would you explain someone cringing to spend for paid email, yet eagerly purchasing membership to a porn site?

One could argue that addiction is too harsh a word. But according to this article, research suggests that Net porn and cyber sex can cause changes in brain chemicals like the release of endorphins that help to perpetuate the behavior.

Those addicted may want out but not know how to go about it.

Now, the very same medium that propagates this vice is offering redemption. And the anonymity of the Internet that encourages people to be bold and frank about their sexual desires to total strangers is helping them admit to their addiction and overcome it.

The obvious way to begin is to find out whether you or your partner is an addict. For yourself, you can try the 'Internet Sex Screening Test' and another one at Pure Intimacy. Also, this article gives you pointers on whether your spouse could be hooked.

What do you do if you're addicted? Seeking professional help is an option. There are also Web sites: XXX Church has helpful resources and encourages people to have 'accountability partners' to track their surfing habits. Another good site is Pure Intimacy that has help sections for people struggling with sexual temptation and those trying to help their dear ones overcome it.

Cyber sex is devoid of accountability. People play up their strengths and conceal their weaknesses. Their profiles match your wildest dreams. It's too easy to get fascinated. And before you know it, you return to the chat room for more. This causes the neglect of people around you in favour of those whose online personalities are in keeping with their own whims.

Here's more evidence that cyber sex can eventually destroy a marriage. Ten per cent of the couples seeking help at a leading marriage guidance organisation in Britain have blamed the Internet, according to this CNN article: 'Both men and women complain of becoming Internet "widows" as their partners spend hours at the computer downloading software or looking at pornography. Sex chatlines and sites such as Friends Reunited, which can rekindle old school passions, pose further threats to relationships.'

But timely intervention and perseverance can save the day, as in the case of Frank whose relationship with his wife is now mended and improving: "Whether your spouse is just starting to show signs of using the Internet too much or has allowed a habit to explode in some tragic way, I encourage you to fight for your relationship," says Watters in his Real Solutions for Overcoming Internet Addictions. An excerpt from the book discusses what spouses can do to handle the situation.

People wanting help can avail of a free one-time counseling service via telephone, offered by a ministry called Focus on the Family. Internet filters could also be used to help track and keep out porn. You can also join mailing lists to derive support.

OnlineSexAddict has resources like forums, support systems and chat rooms and also offers an 'Online Sexual Addiction Course'. However, membership comes at a price.

You can also read testimonies of people who have successfully countered the effect of addiction to Internet porn. Dr Mark Laaser, a minister, was not immune. But now he has surmounted his addiction and is executive director of the Christian Alliance for Sexual Recovery (CASR). He shares with us his steps toward recovery. These include admitting you have a problem, seeking help, dealing with loneliness, mending close relationships and responding to the constant deceptive messages about sexuality.

From the testimonies one thing is clear: What you do online does have a serious impact offline. An excerpt from this article says it all: 'As you read this story, there are 2,500 strangers waiting for you in the Yahoo! personal ads. You could easily spend the next year of your life trading exciting electronic messages in pursuit of a mate. Meanwhile, your future spouse could very likely be in your neighbourhood or on your campus, waiting to be asked out; waiting to grab a cup of coffee and talk about life.'

Before you stay up all night staring at words scrolling across your computer, don't pass up a chance to stare into the eyes of a real person.

Also Read
 -- Sex, lies and the Internet: Is cyber sex same as cheating?
 -- XXX Church: If you're addicted to porn