They're all over the place now, these little surveys. You could try the James Bond villain personality test, for example, to find out which Bond villain you resemble. Or the Reservoir Dogs test to see which of the cult film's characters represents you best. One actually tells you what kind of cat you are, and over 53184 people have already logged on to find out.

53184 people. And then they call me strange?

There's more. Like the utterly surreal test which asks you 'why did the chicken cross the road?', 'what rhymes with orange?' and 'what's the difference between a duck?' Again, I tried. Only to find out I was a "fish with a bicycle." Go figure.

Why do people love trying these tests, I asked Paul Speller, the guy who hosts one called, 'Which online personality test are you?'. "I think it's because they love finding new dimensions to their personalities," he replied. "And also because the tests give them something to put in their online journals without having to think too much." His effort is more of a parody aimed at those who are getting a bit fed up with all this testing. Does he make a conscious effort to analyse results? "Yes. They are carefully weighed to the questions, using a scoring system I devised and implemented myself. Other tests work in various ways though. Some simply add all the 'yes' answers to get a percentage and then give you a pre-defined result. The worst ones randomly pick results without looking at your answers at all."

Christopher Holmok is no stranger to tests either. His site, fuali, shut down earlier this year, but was popular while it lasted thanks to gems like 'want to know how much of a 'raver' you are?', 'how 'goth' are you?' and 'are you geek enough?'. "People always want to find out more about themselves," he told me. "They also have a tendency to quantify everything. I think my tests were appealing because they threw humorous jabs at stereotypes."

Both Holmok and Speller agree the feedback is good. "They either loved or hated them, and those who loved them got the joke," says the former. In fact, fuali shut down because the server couldn't handle the millions of hits it received daily. "It was fun while it lasted," says Holmok. "Now back to my real life."

Both also agree these tests aren't an Internet phenomenon alone. "The Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory 2 has been around for a long time and is used by psychologists, educators and doctors," says Holmok. "Magazines run two or three tests per issue too, which are popular. The Web is just a fantastic medium to deploy them on."

Speller adds, "Personality tests have been around for years. The big difference on the Internet is that you can post your results and friends can try it too. 11,000 people took my test just two days after it first appeared online. There are no limits to how many people can take them now, and they spread exponentially. I think that's the key to their success."

That would explain why the 'art test' ("which work of art are you most like?"), 'are you as interesting as your Web log?' and 'is your son a computer hacker? questionnaires still draw visitors.

Giving it one last shot, I pick a test that promises to help determine whether or not I have a personality disorder. It tells me I'm extremely paranoid as well as obsessive-compulsive.

The result bothers my friends, but I don't care what they think. I'm a lemon too, remember?