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The 10 WORST Films of Johnny Depp
Is the world out of love with Johnny Depp? When did this collective crush of ours end? Lone Ranger, Depp's latest film, was savaged by critics and barely given a chance by audiences.
To be fair, he hasn't been making it easy. A gifted actor with extreme charisma he may well be, but Depp's career choices haven't been particularly solid in the last few years, and it may be time to question our fondness for him. Or at least to hunt up a few of his many finest moments.
This, however, is just the opposite. Here, dear readers, is our list of the 10 worst Depp movies. Do feel free to disagree.
Lone Ranger
Depp's new "whiteface" routine hasn't impressed audiences or critics who'd rather see a Native American actor play Tonto, one of the most iconic roles in pop culture. Depp and Armie Hammer try their best in this bizarre Gore Verbinski western, but the director (and Depp) should have stopped with the great Rango.
Dark Shadows
The idea of a bizarrely ahead-of-its-time gothic and shadowy television show being ported to modern cinemas by Tim Burton and starring Depp in the lead sounds incredible. And it was, on paper. (By which we mean that at least the posters looked good.)
But caught between darkness and drollery, a spoof and a spook, this film came a cropper quite spectacularly -- even as its perfectly picked cast watched helplessly.
The Tourist
Johnny Depp. Angelina Jolie. Together for the first time, in a film made by Florian Henckel Von Donnersmarck, the German guy who made The Lives Of Others.
Also, spy games.
Hurrah? Not quite.
It all looked terribly terribly exciting in the trailers, but stretched out full-length this was an alarmingly boring film.
The Libertine
Depp played the notoriously debauched John Wilmot in this film where he got the look right but the film threw up all over everything else.
The character of a drunk given to excess is one Depp tackles often, but often goes too far overboard. The one immensely fabulous exception being his Jack Sparrow, but then not everyone is Cap'n Jack.
Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End
And sometimes even Captain Jack shouldn't be Captain Jack.
The Pirates Of The Caribbean films are a very muddled franchise, and here, in sum, is the report card: the first one was a huge laugh and a wonderful ride, the second tried to take it too far but Depp was fun enough, and the fourth had Penelope Cruz.
Notice how we didn't mention the third? Yeah, that's because it's this one.
Alice In Wonderland
One of cinema's most whimsical tag-team combinations, Depp and Burton appear so eerily in sync with each other that you'd expect them to speak in near-unison, like Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
They'd be a fine choice for Lewis Carroll's classic, but while this Disney film looked wonderful, somehow that most capricious of stories was turned into tired old chosen-one hokum.
And Depp's weird hair was just old hat.
The Astronaut's Wife
Depp. Charlize Theron.
Impregnated by aliens.
Just take our word and stay away from this one, all right?
From Hell
Alan Moore's marvellous graphic novels have a history of being butchered by men who make them into movies. And while this adaptation of his exquisitely crafted procedural thriller about Jack The Ripper tried affectionately to cram in as much detail, it faltered rather fundamentally -- and Depp's accent was a significant worry.
The Rum Diary
Again, Depp hoisted the hipflask and broke out the Bacardi to celebrate his old buddy Hunter S Thompson's book of the same name, this time even producing the film.
But it takes a master like Terry Gilliam to pull off something as wild as Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas.
In more ordinary hands, we're left just with Loathing.
The Ninth Gate
A snoozy, exhausting Roman Polanski film.
Which is quite a feat considering this is a thriller about a book-collector out and hunting for a book written by The Devil himself.
It's all very Da Vinci Snored, ages before Dan Brown wrote the blasted things, and Depp ambles through the film looking confused and/or sleepy.
We'd be best advised to follow suit.