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Jiah suicide case: Just why do women ENDURE ABUSE?

Last updated on: June 14, 2013 16:55 IST

Jiah suicide case: Just why do women ENDURE ABUSE?

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Subhash K Jha in Patna

Abusive relationships, no matter how damaging, are often spoken about in hushed tones or not addressed at all.

In the wake of Jiah Khan's tragic suicide, several Bollywood actresses give their take on why women fall for the bad boys and endure abuse. Read on.

Veena Malik

I have been in an abusive relationship.

I was very loyal and honest with him. My world revolved around him and my work but he would repeatedly humiliate me in front of his friends.

He would say, 'See the most beautiful girl is dancing to my tunes.' Small things like dinner not served on time would provoke him.

I think girls get into abusive relationships because to some extent, they like bad boys. They want to change them but instead they are drawn into the dark desperate personality of the man they think they can mend.

Such relationships give a woman a kind of a high even if it means losing their self esteem.

Also, women feel oddly protected in the presence of bad boys.


Image: Veena Malik

Tags: Bollywood

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Pooja Bhatt: You are an accomplice if you let someone abuse you repeatedly

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I've been there.

One thing I was wise enough to know is that you don't have to wait for someone to treat you badly repeatedly. If you allow them to get away with it once, you are telling them that they can get away with it every time.

Your silence the first time (when physically abused) sets the tone for your relationship in the future.

Abuse is not just physical. Some women spend years with men who don't strike them but break their spirit every day.

Remember, if you endure abuse the first time, you are a victim. If you let anyone do that repeatedly, then you are an accomplice.


Image: Pooja Bhatt

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Amrita Rao: Any person who constantly belittles you is not worth your time

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I don't believe in generalising the gender issue.

However, even the most intelligent girls put matters of the heart above reason.

A girl must evaluate and analyse at the initial stages of a relationship if she's being treated the way she's meant to be.

Respect is more important than gifts, flowers and the I-love-you-babys.

Any person, who constantly belittles you, is not worth your time.

You can rest assured it is his own shortcomings which make a man behave in this way. Learn to command respect at the start of a relationship or you will never get it.

Image: Amrita Rao

Tags: Amrita

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Divya Dutta: I'd rather be single than in an abusive relationship

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You become vulnerable when you put up a brave front in an abusive relationship.

Women in such relationships are often unable to leave and often end up taking the blame for the abusive partner's behaviour.

Speaking for myself, I'd rather be single than in an abusive relationship.

Image: Divya Dutta


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Celina Jaitley: Women become victims of their own idea of a perfect fairytale life

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I've often wondered why women tolerate abusive relationships.

Such men take advantage of their woman's vulnerability.

No matter how successful or independent they are, women become victims of their own idea of a perfect fairytale life while men often become abusive to overcome their own insecurities.


Image: Celina Jaitley


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Aditi Rao Hydari: Everyone should have the courage to stand up to physical and emotional abuse

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There are probably a million reasons for women getting into such a situation.

Physical and emotional abuse is something every woman, man and child -- whether successful or not -- should have the courage to stand up against.


Image: Aditi Rao Hydari


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Gul Panag: I would never tolerate an abusive relationship

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I suppose successful women tolerate abuse because of their emotional vulnerability. The pressures of everyday life make them hold on to what they think are emotional anchors.

I would never tolerate an abusive relationship.


Image: Gul Panag
Photographs: Pradeep Bandekar
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Tapsee Pannu: It's always the women who bears the brunt

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Women, who are famous, don't want their plight to be exposed for all to see.

They have no option but to let the torture continue rather than make a public spectacle of their personal lives. Sadly, it's always the women who bears the brunt.


Image: Tapsee Pannu


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Tanushree Dutta: I want peace rather than companionship

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Not all successful women are in abusive relationships.

Some are and and they know that it's lonely at the top, and sometimes you are lonely and sad even when you are with someone.

Speaking for myself, I'd rather keep my own company than be with an abusive partner. If push comes to shove, I want peace rather than companionship.


Image: Tanushree Dutta

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