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Jaspal Bhatti's Top 10 WITTIEST quips!

Last updated on: October 26, 2012 20:26 IST

Jaspal Bhatti's Top 10 WITTIEST quips!

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Just last month, Jaspal Bhatti made it on our list of The 25 GREATEST characters on Indian TV before the news of his sudden demise in a car accident shocked the country.

A satirist and humorist par excellence, Bhatt's funny jibes on the social structure produced unforgettable creations like Flop Show

Here's a tribute to his sparkling wit with a compilation of 10 quotable quips from the series famously 'Misdirected by Jaspal Bhatti.'

P:S: Although the loose translation in English gives you a gist of the joke, it's true fun can be appreciated in Bhatti speak alone. 

'Badi afsos ki baat hai ki ji chalees filon ko kutarne mein choohon ne ek din lagaya tum dus din mein un filon ke list taiyyar nahi kar sakte?'

Translation: It's a real pity that you are not able to even make a list of those files in 10 days which the rats gnawed through in just one day. 

Image: Jaspal Bhatti


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'Jab humari shaadi hui thi toh dowry agreement mein yeh clause rakhi gayi thi ke agar biwi ke wajah se mujhe heart trouble hui toh yeh ilaaj ka kharcha sasuralwalon ko karna hoga.'

Translation: The dowry agreement at the time of our marriage carried a clause that if I develop heart trouble because of my wife, my in-laws will foot in the bill for my treatment.


Image: Jaspal Bhatti


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'Mujhe lagta hai teri aatma bhi tere shareer mein kiraye pe hi reh rahi hai. Ab mujhe dekh, mere paas pehle ek makaan tha, makaan maalik se jhagda ho gaya, saat hazaar leke makaan choda hai. Uske baad doosra makaan liya, sattar hazaar wahan se liye. Is tarah cheh makaan badalne ke baad maine apni kothi khareed li.' 

Translation: Looks like even your soul lives on rent in your body. Look, earlier I had a rented an apartment. But I had a slight disagreement with the landlord, so I snitched 7000 bucks from him to vacate that place. The next house I rented, I left after taking 70,000 from the owner. After changing houses like this seven times I've finally purchased my own bungalow.


Image: A scene from Flop Show


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'Agar kutte ko kuch ho gaya toh mein ghar ka rahoonga na ghaat ka.'

Translation: God help me if something happens to my wife's dog.



Image: Jaspal Bhatti and Shammi Kapoor in Jaanam Samjha Karo


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'Tum ek purani aur tooti phutti ghadi ke ghum ho jaane par apne brand new pati ko chhod ke jaa rahi ho. Agar kal yeh khabar shaher mein phail gayi toh jaanti ho kya hoga? Kai pati jaan bujh kar apni ghadiyan ghuma denge.'

Translation: Will you dump your husband simply because he misplaced an old, miserable watch? Do you know what will happen If this news gets out? Husbands will purposely start losing their watches!



Image: Jaspal Bhatti in Flop Show


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'Madame mera matlab toh sirf itna tha ki telephone call hi itni mehengi hoti hain ki agar wrong number bhi hai thodi baat toh ki jaaye na.'

Translation: Pardon me madam but what I meant was that phone calls these days are so damn expensive that even if it is a wrong number, one should try and make the most of it by chatting a little.



Image: Jaspal Bhatti


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'Chief Guest banne mein sabse badi dikkat pata hai kya hai? Ek toh sabse aage wali line mein baithke gardan akkad jaati hai. Doosra, agar item buri lage toh Chief Guest bechara hooting bhi nahi kar sakta hai.'

Translation: The worst thing about being a chief guest is. One, you are made to sit bang in front producing a cramp in the neck. Secondly, the poor chap is forbidden to hoot at an item if he doesn't like it.



Image: A scene from Flop Show


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'Agar talashi ho jaati to humare ghar mein ek bhi paisa nahi hai. Yeh aur bhi badnaami ki baat hai.'

Translation: If the cops ran a raid inside our house, they'd realise we don't have any money. Good lord, the shame!


Image: A scene from Flop Show


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'Kya baat kar rahe hain, Mistriji? Agar mein isse tudwakar lohe ke bhaav bhi bechun chaar hazaar toh phir  bhi mil jayega. Aakhir gaadi hai, chhat hai, chaar paiyen hain. Hazaar rupaye toh per paiyen milna hi chahiye na?'

Translation: Are you kidding me? Even if I dismantle this carp and sell it as scrap, I will get 4000 rupees. After all, it has a roof and four wheels. Shouldn't I get at least 1000 rupees per tyre.



Image: Jaspal Bhatti in Power Cut


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'Jo humare dukaan ki mithaiyan khaata hai woh inke dukaan ki davaaiyan zaroor khata hai.'

Translation: If you eat sweets of our shop, you'll end up buying medicines from his shop.



Image: Jaspal Bhatti with wife Savita


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